Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
SO... caught him texting suggestive stuff to some girl. of course she says they are just good friends. i told her if she knew he had a girlfriend then it was disrespectful to me as his girlfriend. here... ill post the conversation. just help me keep it real, cause when he gets back i have to leave.
here is a copy paste from the conversation.
me
This is his girlfriend of two years. We live together. I dont want any drama I just need to know. I know you have been texting each other suggestively. I have a daughter to take care of and have bern helping out with his bills since he has been gone.
her
we are just friends hunny. we joke around and laugh. he a homie nothing more we share commin intrests and stuff. and ask how one anothers day is.
me.
The reason why I ask in this awkward way is because he has hidden his friends And does not talk like that to me via text. Or even respond to me half the time. He is very secretive and ive caught him texting you saying it was ROTC. Even on his birthday when i took him out. So you can imagine why i would be apprehensive. I usually let things go but i dont like liars. And him telling another woman is sexy and that he would like to taste her and explore her body scars is insulting when im here making a home. In the two and a half years we have been together he does not just talk to anyone like that. I have never known him to talk like that but then again i dont usually check up.
her.
he meet me when i was working he was sweet and stuff but no he just sweet talk alot i thought that was just how he was then again i havent talk to him since he went onto duty.
me.
did you know he had a girlfriend?
her.
yahh i sweet talk with glen he an amazing friend of mine i look up to him and love to here about his army talk. i am not trying to get at him nor get with him. i enjoy his company and his friendship.yes he did. did he tell you i have a girlfriend. and im lesbian. im guessih not. but yahh no i dont want your man hunn. he is a close friend mine.i am off to work now. so if you got my number out his phone please dont text me i don want no more farther problems
me.
Its not a problem. Im just feeling disrespected by the both of you if you knew he had a girlfriend. I would never sweet talk someones partner out of respect for the relationship. And if you were such a good friend why hide you? Thats all im saying.
and that was the end of the conversation. im guessing she works at the mall down the road because he has been spending ample time there. and this was also the place he would say he would go when he was hiding his ex. I have to be done. if it was so innocent then he should have told me had met a new friend.
when i have friends i want them to know who my partner is. because im proud of the relationship.
i keep trying to justify my leaving even though i have more than enough reasons why. he has hit me, kicked my animals and broken my daughters things and hidden relationships from me. i cant keep doing this.
here is a copy paste from the conversation.
me
This is his girlfriend of two years. We live together. I dont want any drama I just need to know. I know you have been texting each other suggestively. I have a daughter to take care of and have bern helping out with his bills since he has been gone.
her
we are just friends hunny. we joke around and laugh. he a homie nothing more we share commin intrests and stuff. and ask how one anothers day is.
me.
The reason why I ask in this awkward way is because he has hidden his friends And does not talk like that to me via text. Or even respond to me half the time. He is very secretive and ive caught him texting you saying it was ROTC. Even on his birthday when i took him out. So you can imagine why i would be apprehensive. I usually let things go but i dont like liars. And him telling another woman is sexy and that he would like to taste her and explore her body scars is insulting when im here making a home. In the two and a half years we have been together he does not just talk to anyone like that. I have never known him to talk like that but then again i dont usually check up.
her.
he meet me when i was working he was sweet and stuff but no he just sweet talk alot i thought that was just how he was then again i havent talk to him since he went onto duty.
me.
did you know he had a girlfriend?
her.
yahh i sweet talk with glen he an amazing friend of mine i look up to him and love to here about his army talk. i am not trying to get at him nor get with him. i enjoy his company and his friendship.yes he did. did he tell you i have a girlfriend. and im lesbian. im guessih not. but yahh no i dont want your man hunn. he is a close friend mine.i am off to work now. so if you got my number out his phone please dont text me i don want no more farther problems
me.
Its not a problem. Im just feeling disrespected by the both of you if you knew he had a girlfriend. I would never sweet talk someones partner out of respect for the relationship. And if you were such a good friend why hide you? Thats all im saying.
and that was the end of the conversation. im guessing she works at the mall down the road because he has been spending ample time there. and this was also the place he would say he would go when he was hiding his ex. I have to be done. if it was so innocent then he should have told me had met a new friend.
when i have friends i want them to know who my partner is. because im proud of the relationship.
i keep trying to justify my leaving even though i have more than enough reasons why. he has hit me, kicked my animals and broken my daughters things and hidden relationships from me. i cant keep doing this.
keep repeating this to yourself every time you feel a soft spot for him. his relationship with her and her relationship with him is inappropriate but it's really no the point. the point is you have a daughter. you have ptsd. you need to be treated with respect and decency if you are going to heal. your mission in life i would hope is bigger than a relationship with this man. you're a mom!!!! be that. be really good at that.
you don't need this drama. it's gross and inappropriate and hurtful to say the least.
repeat after me....
he has hit me, kicked my animals and broken my daughters things and hidden relationships from me. i cant keep doing this.
the texting thing was the last straw, even though worse has happened.
IT IS NOT OK TO HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE HIDING IT FROM YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER KNOWING. plain. simple. done.
AND i know i need to heal. i know i need to work, and i need a SAFE STABLE place for that to happen. and it is NOT like that here. hell, the whole time he has been gone i havent even had the chance to miss him because ive been so busy reliving all the crap he put me through.
as my counselor says, all this is doing is RE traumatizing me... when i live through flashbacks already.
ive only in the past couple years even accepted that I even have ptsd, and probably have for a very very long time. and now im doing the work it takes to try to deal with it, to get through it. and i just cant do that here. i can do better on my own at this point. i have always been honest with him. ive bared myself to him in all my weaknesses. he has seen me at my worst, but has never seen me at my best because he never tried to build me up. most the time i cried alone...
and honestly... im too smart for him. I KNOW i am VERY intelligent when my emotions arent ruling me. and he apparently cant get through school without having me or someone else do his homework for him.
GOD im stupid. ugh. ok. now im getting angry lol. i even did his HOMEWORK for him... and mine... i cook for him... I do everything i can for him. but you know what? im not ok. im really not ok. i was ok before i met him. i felt healthy before... and i was proud of myself when i left him the first time. somehow i got wrapped back into it. well fuck it now. his issues are his own. and so are mine. im not letting him throw this in my face anymore. if he truly loved me, he would be fucking honored that i even showed that much of myself to him.
I started taking these pills honestly, to help our relationship, because i was so constantly on edge. now i see im on edge because of him.
what are you going to school to study again??
neuro psych is up and coming!!!
be done. all for good reasons. we are not fragile us wwltm i think buy into that unconsciously that we are fragile. we are not. stand up and take your daughter by her little hand and lead her out of there into better esteem.
just b/c you have severe ptsd does not mean you are broken, less than, undeserving, "crazy" or that you have to settle. you get to teach her what to do when she has a problem. how to help herself. this is why we should not define ourselves as someone who has ptsd!!! you have some troublesome symptoms of a condition that protected you and perhaps saved your life. your little psyche knew exactly what you needed for survival this does not make you "sick" or "broken." it's pretty fucking amazing that our brains can do that if you think about it.
i'm grateful for my ptsd symptoms that used to annoy the shit out of me. if anything b/c we have been through what we went through that caused ptsd we deserve a better life!! we are entitled to some goodness now.
I just had more info as well. the girl messaged me threatening me now. saying i was trying to break them up.
i talked to the supposed "girlfriend" and it just got worse.... she said no, she had no idea where he got that, and the girl he had been "texting" is in her teens, possibly a minor.
how m any parties are involved in this i'm so confused now....
you're not still responding to her are you???