Oh noooo...I know you want to see him but would that be best for you, if you're honoring yourself?
I don't kmow the answers but I do know you deserve to know someone cares and to not have to play these games (I've done it too).

If possible think of how bad it would suck to start over again. You've already done so much work! Thinking of you...

I know. I'm contemplating.
He seems so serious this time..I just don't know.

I have plans with a gf tomorrow night for drinks. I'm even scared to do that. alcohol is such a trigger for me.

this bites the big one!

My advice (not that I am one to give it) is to play it safe. I was humiliated and left holding my heart again lik a damn fool. I don't want that for you sister. Thinking of you (and maybe skip drinks for sonething else? I've been doing that too). I know how hard it is. I don't know what I would have done if my ex came bacl like that. He made the decision for me so I guess that took the guess work out of it...and blocking him made sense once he was cruel the last time.

If you know what it would be if you took him back, maybe just remember how he looked everytime he let you down in the past. And tell him you know you deserve something more and as much as you care about him, you need to go find that. I know that would suck but how empowering. I think you'd have to block his number too though.

I just don't think these types of guys change. The guys who respect us, always respect us. The question is whetger you've had your fill yet.

sigh.