Ohmygoodness. . . you absolutely DID NOT offend me! Never, ever, ever. (I took my dog for a walk, came back and my daughter called and I've been chatting with her, or I would have replied sooner!) I'm just feel hopeless to help with this. I think I've been NC for so long I've gotten rusty in some regards. Seriously, I so believe in these women, I knew there was much greater wisdom awaiting. And I was right! Take it away, ladies. . .

His last text to me this: "Can we just talk? I know I've been a shit and I was out of line last week. I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry. When you're ready please let's just talk. sleep well xo"

I don't know what to say. I start to type something and then delete, because I don't want whatever i say to seem like I have any interest whatsoever in continuing the game. GOD! What do i say??!

Little, your advice is just as good as any other. I need all angles on this! lol

Just say nothing for tonight.....Don't give him any more of your time right now. Do something for you.

I know if it were my situation.....any thing that I replied would just get more discussion going and it would just be a lot of chaos from him. But that is just my situation......When he wants to talk or is at work and has time to talk....HE wants to talk.......When he is off work and has time to actually talk uninterrupted or we could see each other......Then he's tired, has to do yard work, has obligations with his grown children, is tired, was sleeping, is tired, ......blah blah blah......You know, full of excuses.

yeah. I get it. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Maybe he won't be as 'urgent' as he is tonight. I'll sleep on it and maybe he should sleep on it too.
Thanks guys. :)

Ok, well, as I've read before in other posts, I think it's really important to make note of how YOU FEEL in this relationship. Does it feel good? Do you feel good about yourself when your engaged with him. How do you feel after you communicate? Do you feel empowered? Healthy? Supported? Encouraged? Sick to your stomach? Nervous? Agitated?

Tap into your feelings, and then decide what is really best for YOU! And who cares who calls it to an end first? If ending it is in your best interest, then I would recommend owning that process.

Ok, you encouraged me to post. So I did! :)

I agree with Little.
I know that I needed more peace in my life and couldn't continue as things were. It wasn't possible.
Do you feel like you are in a relationship?
Lots of questions to ask yourself.
What is the best thing for you, your son, your life?
Peace to you as you sleep.
Do what honours you.

"Do what honors you". . . BINGO! Perfect, Creo.

I don't think this will end happily ever after. There's been too much disappointment. I feel like if I give in now, it's only a matter of time before he'll revert back to his careless ways. I don't think he knows what he wants. I think he thinks he wants me, I think that he can't stand teh thought of my moving on and getting over him, but i don't think he knows how to make me truly happy.
I don't feel liek I'm in a relationship. I do feel nervous, I do feel agitated, I don't feel liek myself...not in the past few months anyway. Maybe that could change, I don't know. I was happy once with him, but that's because he was present, mind, body, spirit. He was enthusiastic about us. Right now, he's panicking, but it doesn't mean he's ready for me, teh way I need him to be.

I love him but I love myself more.
I'm gonna face him eventually, i just don't know when.
We'll see. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks SO SO much, could not have gotten through these moments without you all ♥

Who I'm honouring tonight, with this turn of events, is my parents who just celebrated 56 years of marriage today. Still going strong :)

Here's all the information you need to tell him that this isn't working for you and you want to move forward.

" i don't think he knows how to make me truly happy.
I don't feel liek I'm in a relationship. I do feel nervous, I do feel agitated, I don't feel liek myself...not in the past few months anyway."

The first line is essentially about you. Do you know how to make yourself happy? It is not his job to make you truly happy, however, what I am coming to understand is when you are grounded and whole and you choose the right partner with that attitude and strength, you will be happy in yourself first and he will 'add' to your overall happiness. The latter statements--nervous, agitated, self-doubt, dislike of self--I totally get this. This was the emotional landscape of my relationship for two years. It breaks you down, whittles away at who you are, your peace, your joy.

Lastly, I would add that you need security with a partner--not to have to question whether you can call, reply to a text, etc. Same as me. A man who sends you a text without any contact for a week that puts the onus on you for failing to connect, (ie. "How long were you planning on being a stranger?") is consciously or subconsciously playing a game.

Good for you for focussing on your parents marriage.

This can go on for as long as you want it to, I am pretty sure.

Wow Miss: what an emotional day for you yesterday also huh?
I know those mixed feelings od happiness (validation) that he still wants you and confusion (is it all games?) Tgat you felt/feel. Ugh....it's so hard. Remember how you said you wished M was as mean as my ex do you could just drop it? I wish mine would have done HALF of what M did to get in touch with me, instead of calling my awful names and to fet the f out of his life, a few weeks after sleeping with me (which he now says was him just using me) and moving on with another woman he says is better than me. At least you have your power and haven't been stripped of your dignity. That's why NC is important...I broke it and made myself vulberable and he squashed me like a fly. I'm still trying to pick myself back up. If you know that could happento you, I suggest try being strong enough to end it now. I think you are brilliant and strong and already have all of the answers. But if you need that extra reminder of what could happen, I'm right here for you. Lots of love to you.

Good morning friends. Thank you for your thoughts. Maryland, so glad you're alright, missed you yesterday. You had me worried.
I'm getting ready to spend the day at my mom's pool. I'm going to read Fifty shades of Grey and let myself NOT think about anything but.
:)

Hey Miss,
Thank you for caring. Even as I spent hours sobbing, I felt less alone yesterday because I knew I could come here and you ladies would care. Miss, you've been especially inspirational to me this week.

Did you see my post on Breakthrough at Caron? I thought of you as I watched the Dateline 3-part special on their program (I am talking to an admissions counselor today). I know you have a son (I have a lot at home too that I would have to get taken care of in order to go) but maybe it's time?

Thinking of you today and hope you're relaxing by the pool in the warm sun, loving yourself. You make me so proud.

Oh Maryland you literally made me cry with your post just now.

I haven't taken a look at your post, now I'm curious. Gonna check it out.

You are so sweet, I can't imagine how anyone would feel compelled to hurt you, which is why we have to keep honouring ourselves. OURSELVES! No one could do the job quite like we can.

As for being proud of me..I don't know about that. I've had many 'not so fresh' moments. lol
Like today. I spent the day at my mom's pool but I did have my phone with me and I caved and answered one of his texts. I told him I'll think about seeing him this weekend to talk. No commitment, but between us, I'm DYING to see him. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified. I feel strong but if I see him I know I'll melt into his eyes and then it's all over. It's up to me as for when to see him.
Thsi is so hard :(