Well put solo60 im with you there,

Mine came back after a two-month period of No Contact on my part. Like an idiot - an having been in so much pain - I romanticized his gesture and fell right back in. Oh, he said all the right things... but did he act? No. I was reeled in emotionally. It all ended on Thanksgiving morning - I drank too much. I numbed my feelings of invisibility in the relationship. He never looked back, because now the breakup was on his terms. In fact, I got a cool email that stated: 'we could meet for coffee, but he could not feign the possibility of continuing a romantic realtionship." This was the man who told me he would marry me only months before.
I am in the worst pain of my life. I feel emotionally slaughtered. I have blocked him from email and facebook and never plan to see/talk to him again, for my own healing.
It just goes to to show you that it's true: they *do* pop back into your life looking for more. Be smarter than I was: Keep your focus on yourself. NEVER look back.

will mine re-appear?

When i discovered 3 other women were also in his life he acted like an injured child. Wouldn't answer any questions at first & just said "I am hurting"

I also found a text from his friend saying congratulations on your engagement. When i said "what the hell are you doing here if your getting married" He said in discust "I'm not engaged"

All very strange. I told him he should leave & it's over. I said "I want you to be happy" He replied "I'm only happy when I'm with you" Grrr! Then "Your the one" Then he left.

He didn't know I had written down the numbers of the 3 women. Later I sent texts exposing him. Shortly after that I got a call from him telling me i was evil & he never wanted to see or hear from me ever again! (her name) is the only one i care about & I want to marry her. She was standing in front of him. It was horrible,I'd never experienced him being angry at me before. I spoke with one of the other women & he made the same call to her.

I really think that's it now, don't see him making contact again do you?

Yes he comes back over and over, month after month, year after year... but at least he doesn't come by the house. He just texts me, and I delete the texts.

Dianie, I think that once they know you are onto tehm they wait longer to come back...until you are recovered and back on your feet. Then they act like they've changed, but only until they hook you again. Mine came back after a year and "wood" me for 6 months before he had me hooked again. And as soon as he hooked me he turned right back into an asshole.

To me this is the most important piece of Susy's message: "And one last thing, even if he discarded you, do not count on your self to be able to handle contact from him. Block him from your phone and email. I have had girls I coach get new phone numbers and brand new email addresses because they would not stop taking him off block 'just to see if he was sorry'. Do what ever you need to do to protect yourself. This is a battle you can not afford to lose."

Do NOT every think otherwise. You/Me/Us Women who love too much we cannot COUNT on ourselves to be able to handle contact with them. NOT a chance. I know I can't and I am not in denial about that fact and that is what protects me the most.

Thanks Susy. Always awesome posts! Spot on!!

They are so sick in the head . . .

My daughter told me tonight her dad, my x, was actually mad that I got the leaking gas pipes fixed and that it didn't cost me . . . . uh, hello! Are you glad your kids are alive? Or, did you loosen those pipes in the first place?

Reappearing . . . I think my x's new supply has him pretty hemmed in, the ball and chain around his ankle. I think he's having to do quite the dance to keep her happy. He probably would start calling and coming around (trying to) were she to dump him. However, I have NO, ZERO weakness towards him. He has freaked me out and I know I do not even know him, whom I was married to for 18 years.

Sometimes I wondered if he would come back after my family members threaten him. But he is a psycho and he really doesn't care...susy explained it earlier they are revengeful...Im also a stubborn person, Thank God it have serve me well in this situation. Susy what great post. Im not afraid of falling back into his lies or manipulation if i ever see him or talk to him...but what I may do to him, like punch him in the face. Ladies, if I'm wrong please tell me. But He is totally block from everything.

I agree, Fenax, I know I can't handle it and I refuse to go back.

I am gearing up for some sort of contact from mine because I am pretty sure he's moving back to where he came from in January, so he'll want to try to make me regret giving up our "oh so bright" future together...which was all a load of bs and I won't fall for that.