Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I came across this article this morning..
http://www.iheartintelligence.com/2014/10/11/20-signs-time-let-go-move/
When things ended in my recent relationship I knew it was time to let go..What's scary is how many of the 20 items in the list I can tick by that last week we spent together .
1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.
2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.
3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.
4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.
5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.
6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.
7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.
8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.
9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.
10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.
11. When you have lost your passion and joy.
12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.
13. When you stop having fun.
14. When you fear this is the best it will be.
15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.
16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.
17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.
18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.
19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.
20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.
http://www.iheartintelligence.com/2014/10/11/20-signs-time-let-go-move/
When things ended in my recent relationship I knew it was time to let go..What's scary is how many of the 20 items in the list I can tick by that last week we spent together .
1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.
2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.
3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.
4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.
5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.
6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.
7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.
8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.
9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.
10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.
11. When you have lost your passion and joy.
12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.
13. When you stop having fun.
14. When you fear this is the best it will be.
15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.
16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.
17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.
18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.
19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.
20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.
I always thought it was love. Now I know that first 6 months or so is a lot of lust. Lust for him, lust for love, lust for the relationship. If I can wait a year or two and really get to know him, THEN I should be able to make a decent decision. Patience was never my best asset!
But I felt so sure that he was the one and that I couldn't do better. I'd focus on the qualities about him I liked instead of all the crap I didn't. That kept me holding on. Lately, now that it's been 4 weeks of no contact, I have felt all those toxic thought patterns have lifted. I remind myself that I am the catch. I have everything going for me. He's not emotionally healthy and he's probably never going to be in a serious relationship ever again unless he seriously works on his issues. But I am working on mine. I am attractive, intelligent, successful, etc. I have way more going for me than he does. He has a LOT of baggage. I don't. He was the one making out on that relationship deal. He should have been doing everything in his power to hold on to me and show me how much he cared and appreciated me but he kept pushing me away. So he succeeded. He pushed me away and the longer he stayed away, the more I remembered that I'm fine on my own and that there are plenty of other men out there who would love a chance at me.
And now, even though he's reached back out to me, I don't even have the desire to respond. I have no desire to get swept back up in that drama and BS. The ups and downs. The pain. It was all too much drama.
Remind yourself daily that you deserve real love. Think of all the qualities you have to offer someone. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
Anyhoo, not sure if you can read my journals or not but from time to time I share quotes that I love. Here are two that I rec'd today:
***Letting go is part of moving on to something better. You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of. Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on. And that’s OK. You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you. ~Bridgette
***Don’t get discouraged. Your time is coming. What you are going through is not permanent. Life is a constant ebb and flow. Sometimes things move at a snail's-pace and then suddenly without warning, change happens in a blink of an eye. So be ready for new possibilities and new beginnings. Truly amazing things can happen in a single moment.
********************and drum roll please.....the one that made me laugh out loud:
I’ve been single for a while and I have to say...it’s going very well. Like..it’s working out.
I think I am THE one. — Unknown
Have a fantastic day!!!
And I love the quotes, especially the last one...Thank you.
: )