Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

1,099 Members
2,716 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Wives of Alcoholics Support Group

The beginning of the end?

mynameisjulie
mynameisjulie
Last Saturday night (8 days ago) he told me he is ready to change. He did not quit cold turkey, but has tapered off A LOT. The withdrawals are difficult to witness, and I can only imagine what he is going through. I've read as many articles as I could find, so that I give him the support and love he needs right now. He is exhausted. I've been letting him sleep as much as he wants without bothering him at all, making sure he eats (although his appetite seems to have gone down) and giving him lots of water. I make sure he's been taking his vitamin D to help keep his mood up, and Valerian root tablets to help with the anxiety and depression. He is dizzy and has a hard time focusing. I am afraid the withdrawals will be too much for him to handle and he'll relapse. Bit I hope I'm wrong. Last night he told me how sick he is of getting drunk all the time, of the constant hangovers. He has a plan to taper off. Please God, keep my husband strong in this journey. I love him so much and only want the best for him and the family we've created!
yw249
yw249
Good for you! However, if he goes to work and also doesn't clean the house from top to bottom, I'd give him a break on that one. I noticed what you said about him putting enough money into the house just to get by and spending the rest on himself. That's what my AH does. In fact, he keeps so much money for himself that he is really our largest bill. Even bigger than the mortgage payment. I've been sick of this for years, but in the past few weeks, I've really started to be disgusted by his behavior to the point that if I had the money and somewhere to go I would leave with the kids and never look back. No note, no nothing. That would feel so good.
laucoa
laucoa
I'm so glad your husband is interested in stopping and acknowledging he has a problem. Going to detox really helped my husband as there are a number of things that may be going on beneath the surface with detoxing. If you are able to and he is willing, it would be best to go somewhere. They can also help him get into a program after. I've seen people get sober w/o a program, but the support is really useful.

It took my husband 3 different rehab attempts to get sober. One was almost back to back. All the lies and deception have a way of being discovered. He's had a few backslides here and there ,but nothing to the extent that it was at it's worse. We have a neighbor in the program and my ah and he attend meetings together, which has been very comforting.

I created a safe place in our house. There is no alcohol here and I've given up drinking when I am home or going home to my husband. When out of town I may have 1 or 2.

The family counseling where my husband received treatment were really important in our recovery in helping me understand the disease more and some of what my husband is going through. I understood pretty early that the disease was what was lying and deceptive ,not the man I married. For me that is true.
Ginny03
Ginny03
Good for you Julie, you have great strength and determination. Like naezer said, following through on your text is key.

yw249, when I think about how much money my ex-ah has spent on alcohol, soda to go with, and cigarettes - it just about does me in. Well over $600 a month for decades now. What we could have done with that money!!