I took the plunge and called a therapist's office for an appointment. I'm waiting for a call back to schedule my first one. I had been so afraid of seeing a counselor, but I finally decided things weren't going to get better for me, by themselves. I had to do something different. I am going for me. I feel stuck in my life, and I need help getting unstuck.
This isn't about trying to stay or leave the marriage, but about helping me make a fulfilling life for myself, and start doing some of the things I've wanted to do. Only I'll be doing them by myself, instead of with my AH.
After I made that call, I felt such relief, that maybe things oculd get better. And all of the excuses why I didn't want to go for therapy seemed to dissolve away. I haven't told anyone in real life, yet, as I don't want friends/family to be watching me, to see if I'm changing. And I'll definitely not tell AH, as he'd find a way to ruin this, too.
2 years ago, I never could have done this. I was so unsure of myself. I'm stronger, now, and feel like now, I can really benefit from counseling.
Anyone else, here, do counseling? What was your experience? Was it helpful?