Im.learning that the secrecy is alcoholic 101. I think the more people who know it's the more people who can hold him accountable. My guess is they know, it's usually the elephant in the room in family's.
My in laws are helping me with an intervention for my husband. You might be surprised at the support you receive from your in laws when you do bring them.into the loop.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know your pain. I know your loneliness. Be sure to take care of your heart and your spirit.

Make sure you know what the family dynamic is with them. My MIL and her husband both drank. When my boys were younger, I tried to tell his mother and she replied that it was good for the boys to be around this environment. I did not come right out and say at that point, I thought he was an alcoholic, just that I thought he was drinking too much. When he had gotten sober for a period of time and fell off the wagon again, I tried to talk to her again. She actually asked me. This was a few years ago. I said that he had been drinking again, but wasn't sure about that exact moment if he was. She went to him and asked him right to his face, and he denied it, righting his behavior off as being tired and stressed out. She believed him because she always believed his lies and wanted to think the best of him. Pretty much knew that she wasn't going to be any support because she always believed that he was better than he actually was to us. He would lie and tell her that he was taking care of us and being a good husband and dad, when he actually was pretty bad. He would put up a pretty good act when we would go spend time at her beach house with her, a couple of times a year.

I really hope an intervention works for you and that you can find the help and support you need. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option in my case. My AH had everyone fooled into thinking he was a fine, upstanding, healthy member of society.

Not right away, but I did tell my AH's family. There is no point in keeping it a secret. It's a big problem and it might help him get help if his family supports him. If his family doesn't think it is a big deal, that gives you information as well.

If they are a loving family and will be understanding and helpful then YES you totally need to tell them!!!! My husband has.lost both of his parents and his brother also has a huge alcohol problem and his sister lived thousands of miles away. So they aren't really very helpful to me in our situation. But if you think his family can help I would definitely go to them.

It took a while, but I finally came clean with both our families about everything going on. His mom was already concerned about his drinking but I don’t think she knew the extent. Some part of me still doesn’t think she wants to know the extent. But it feels so much better to not have to hide anything from anyone. I started confiding in some of my closest friends about his drinking problem and that helped by just having more people in my corner.

I have been in this same dilemma for some time. They know he used to drink, but they don't know he is drinking again although honestly, how they can't is beyond me. My current working theory is they suspect it, but haven't asked me because they don't really want to know. I tried to tell my MIL on the phone one day that I needed to talk to her about something and she completely ignored me and started talking about something else. And the kicker is that he drinks when he knows he's going to have to see them so they are a trigger for him. So we avoid seeing them for obvious reasons and I feel like they blame me for that. They are kind of crappy towards me and it just pisses me off so much that I tune them out as much as I can. Sad what alcoholism does, isn't it? I think you should tell them, IF you think they will be helpful. I guess I know my in laws won't do anything to help or more likely, their idea of help is not helpful so what's the point? Last time, they wanted to give him "a good talking to" I mean that's just laughable - like I haven't been talking, yelling, and crying for over 15 years now?!. Get a clue. For some reason even his brother has almost quit communicating with us....prob bc my AH is usually an ass to him, but they're Irish twins and used to be best friends.