Hi jenbird1, sorry for loss. As far as sorting your husband's clothes etc .... Don't listen to anyone as to when to do it - you will know when you are ready to do it. hugs to you.

Jen.....I still have not gone thru his clothes. I gave one of my son's a couple of his golf shirts but everything else is just the way he left it. I may never go thru them;

You do what is comfortable for you and on your own timetable.....you will know when the time is right.

Jen, I am an old widow so can't help you in some ways, however you have come to a very good site. Everyone here has helped me so very much and I highly recommend it to grieving widows and widowers everywhere. As to your husband's clothes. It is YOUR decision as to when it is right. I went through and donated all of my husband's clothes within the first 10 days and have never regretted it. Some say it is too soon. Listen to your heart in this matter.

Hi Jen,

I let my daughter go through and take what she wanted. Then my wife's sister did the same. The rest went to charity. I'm lucky that my daughter took care of most of this. I didn't really want to keep any clothing, but if you feel differently, nothing wrong with that.

Hi Jenbird. So very sorry for your recent loss... I was a relatively young-ish widow at 49, with two young kids ages 10 and 12 at the time - so I can relate to what you're experiencing.
As for the clothing - some of it I kept, still have it 2 years later (e.g. the "best dad" t-shirt with the kid's hand prints on it from Father's day 10 years ago) I let both the kids pick out some of his t-shirts to use as sleep shirts - my daughter still gets comfort from that. I've kept a couple of his best winter jackets for my son - his build is just like his dad's. The suits, and anything business-y or dated, went to the local charities.
I've heard too, of people making quilts/blankets from the late spouse's clothing, so the kids can keep it on their beds. And one mom I know, made cuddle pillows out of her late dad's sweatshirts - one for each child. They'd been close to their granddad, and this helped them feel like he was still cuddling them.

As for the rest; one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself, make time for self-care, and talk to anyone who will listen.
Take care, xo Jacuzzi.

I'm so sorry... Tomorrow will be 2 weeks for me. I'm not as young as you and I knew my husband was going to die. It's just so wrong for it to happen to someone as young as you. I'm praying for you.

Sorry for your loss. I was widowed at 28 and I am one of those that Sharn was talking about with the kids that will not know their father. This here has hit all of us when some least expected. I hope you find peace here.

Maggie

I am 30 and i lost my husband 2 years and 5 months ago and It doesnt so much get easier as it gets different. You learn how to live again how to do things differently. Your spouse will always be tucked safely in your heart but you learn how to live and go on. Some days youll cry and itll feel like thats all you do other days youll do good.

I gave most of my husbands clothes to charity except for a few of his favourite t shirts which i sleep in. i did this about a month after he passed. Everybody has a different time line. For me going through his things and deciding what to do with them is comforting. there are some good memories in that stuff! Do things at your own pace. hugs-Patti

Thank you all for your opinions about when to go through stuff. I have decided to wait a while and see just how I feel later on. I did nothing but cry for the last two days. I am hoping today will be better in some way. I have anxiety and feel a sense of panic that comes and goes. I hope everyone has as good as day as possible. Hugs to all!

So sorry for your loss Jenbird. My husband died 10 months ago. I turned 48 in Nov but consider myself a young widow. My step daughters are 24 & 25 but I do have a 3yo grandson who is a delight. Sadly, my husband died of cancer so we had some time to prepare. I don't now if that's better or worse. Losing the person you love sucks. As far as his belongings, I have just started to sort through them. I think you're smart to wait. I became more attached to things as time started to pass. Now I feel like I'm finally getting to a place where I'm ready to face the fact that moving forward does not mean leaving him behind. It's a rough journey and we'll all be here to help as best we can. Be gentle on yourself. Hugs to you, Liz.

So very sorry for you loss Jen. I can only say we make it through it by taking it one day at a time and doing the best we can to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. Finding this support group is part of the HOW, you are not alone, not in your circumstances and not with anything you care to share here. I don't know if understanding is obtainable, for me it wasn't but still had to learn to accept it.
Hugs,
Jean

I am so sorry for your loss. You are not alone. I lost the love of my life on January 3, 2014 when he was just 34 years old and about 6 weeks later I turned 27. At the time our children were 10 & 6. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Do what is best for you and you children.

Hello Jenbird,
I am at nearly 10 months and have only just this week gone through my husbands wardrobe and sorted some clothes, many I have bagged and kept, why I don't really know, they were his favourites and I just can't get rid of them yet, it does'nt feel right, others like socks and jocks, & shirts I have given to charity. Only you will know when the right time is. Ignore everybody's advice on what you should do when, and how you should do whatever it is. Only do what feels right for you. Take your time and do it your way. My husband's 4 wheel sits in the driveway, so does our caravan, there is a garage and a shed full of his tools and gear. When it feels right to me, I will sort sell the caravan and truck and sort the sheds, until then, no ones business but mine. If I'm ok with it that's all that matters. My thoughts are at this early stage, don't rush into clearing out things, if it does'nt need to be done, let it sit a while until you are ready.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband a few months before my 39th birthday. He died suddenly, too. It was a normal day... then he was gone a moment later. We also have three children. We had started having children young, and my oldest just turned 22, followed by a 19 and a 17. Losing someone is so hard... but when it is sudden and unexpected it seems magnified. I still find myself searching for a way to "undo it". I keep thinking that somehow I can change what happened. I am not sure when (or IF) this ever gets more bearable, but I am hoping that I can find some comfort here, with people who are going through the same pain. I will keep your family in my thoughts.