Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It's been a year and a half since my lil' Bear passed and in many ways I have moved forward. I have my new job, some new friends and joy in my life again.
But, you never know what is going to trigger a memory! My sone in the military is here visiting for the weekend and got up fairly early this morning (Sunday). He aksed if we could make biscuits and gravy and I said sure. I rarely make a big breakfast anymore so it was a good excuse, and really it is pretty easy. So Will is making the sausage and I am making biscuits, I made the dough and dumped it out on to a cutting board. I always took my wedding ring off so the dough would not get stuck in the engraving and I as I put my hand to my finger where my ring used to be it hit me like an truck. I just stood there looking out the window with tears streaming down my face, I could remember vividly Diana standing there in the kitchen getting ready to scramble some eggs once I popped the biscuits into the oven. Will came over and hugged me and just said rough morning?. Feeling better now but I was really shocked by the intensity of the memory.
-Pete-
But, you never know what is going to trigger a memory! My sone in the military is here visiting for the weekend and got up fairly early this morning (Sunday). He aksed if we could make biscuits and gravy and I said sure. I rarely make a big breakfast anymore so it was a good excuse, and really it is pretty easy. So Will is making the sausage and I am making biscuits, I made the dough and dumped it out on to a cutting board. I always took my wedding ring off so the dough would not get stuck in the engraving and I as I put my hand to my finger where my ring used to be it hit me like an truck. I just stood there looking out the window with tears streaming down my face, I could remember vividly Diana standing there in the kitchen getting ready to scramble some eggs once I popped the biscuits into the oven. Will came over and hugged me and just said rough morning?. Feeling better now but I was really shocked by the intensity of the memory.
-Pete-
For the most part I have put my life back together. I miss my Lil Bear like crazy but I often see pictures and have a smile rather than a tear. I remember all the awesome times we had together and know that all of those experiences have made me who I am today, she will be with me always.
About a year ago someone who lost their love not so suddenly shared a goodbye letter that their spouse had written. There was a particular line in it that touched me to my heart and I know if Diana could have written a letter she would have included this sentiment:
I would have chosen to live and I want you to live for me, live for the opportunity I didn't get, the time I wasn't granted, live with joy in your heart for the joy in life you shared with me.
So I take the trips she never got to, play with grand kids that she cant and finish the projects she would have liked. What I find is as I live life forward I do have joy in my heart and I know that makes her smile.
All my best to my friends on this most difficult journey.
-Pete-
Your post made me realize my tears leaving my sons home was just that a trigger - our many trips driving back and forth from there to our home. ....it made me sad it was just me driving all that way now.
That trip also made me somewhat sad my new Grandson will never know what a great Grandpa he had....so I really made sure my time there was holding and hugging him alot, wrestling with roughneck 2 yr old.
I can only guess those triggers bring on a few drops of healing needed....
Lu Ann
Paula