This is a great idea. I changed the furnace filter for the first time. Yay me. I have also been doing a lot of driving, he was always the driver and it worked out for me, he didn't like being the passenger and I didn't mind it at all. Raininseattle, I agree with luckydaughter, that is a great visualization, I had something similar right after he passed, I was on the sidewalk in a fetal position and I told myself I had to get up and be strong.

My hubby spoiled me, but I did stuff before him and I know I can do it again. But it's been years since I've pumped gas. Silly I know, but I've done it twice now. I also got both our vehicles smogged and registered. I felt like that was my accomplishment of the week last week.

Hi hfpvc. Yay for changing the furnace filter! I just changed the batteries in my Swiffer Wet Jet. I didn't even know it had batteries. LOL.

Sylvia

Hi Sophia. I'm glad you are confident pumping gas now. My mom never knew how, not in her entire life. There are so many things I know I should know how to do, but I was married for 31 years to a man who did them, so I don't know how to do them. But I can learn.

Sylvia

Maybe I was lucky, as my wife lost the ability to do all the things she did she was still here to tell me how to pay the bills, cook, clean, etc. By the time the last year came and she was confined to bed I had taken over for her.

Hi, I've taken the taxes to be done, which my husband of 35 years used to do before he passed 2 yrs ago this month, and just almost everything else, except take the vehicals to be maintenanced. Thankfully, my son who lives with me right now, takes care of that.

I'm reading all the previous replys and thinking how similar some of our experiences are to one another. I wish everyone the best in getting things accomplished, I sometimes feel overwhelmed, but we will get things done.

Hi everyone, this is an awesome idea Sylvia. I have learned that I can go to the movie theater by myself! Yep, I did! I did see Collateral Beauty which I felt spoke to me directly. Yes, I did cry and sat away from people but I did it! I also changed the light bulbs in my home, bought groceries and took my cars to get serviced. I know my guy was proud of me!

There's a like a million little things that have come up that I'm not sure about. My husband had an aquarium and a fish pond in the back yard. My grown children and I have figured out how to operate these and I can do a lot of it by myself now. I'm good at cutting the grass when I only had a passing interest before. We've had a problem with mice in the basement off and on and I've learned how to set traps. I learn something new every week.

TY Shrn, your comment is so empowering. It's helpful how others view their obstacles, then the actions making them our challenges!
jdp

Hi everyone. Dave, I can relate because my husband was sick for 16 months before he passed. There were a number of things he did tell me, like where to locate the shut off valve for the water under the house and where the hot water heater was. However, there were an equal number of things he did not tell me, even though I asked him too. Maybe he just didn't have the energy to or maybe he thought I would be capable of figuring it out myself. Who knows?

BBs, I am glad your son helps you. My sons live out of state but they do whatever they can. When they came to town for the funeral, they fixed a slow drain, took old lumber to the dump, etc. I am blessed to have them.

Renie, I have thought of going to a movie by myself and I think I will as soon as I find a movie I really want to see. I am used to eating in a restaurant by myself so I am sure I will be able to do a movie, too.

Marie, I hear you, since outdoor chores have never been my thing. However, like everything else, I am learning.......like you said, something new every week. Sometimes every day!

Monday will be 4 years since I lost my husband and there has been many moments of "I did it" ...

The first summer my daughter and I drove 1000 miles to my parents 60th anniversary . I had become way too comfortable letting him do most of the driving...

I also learned to become more comfortable driving on bridges ...I wanted to visit his cousin and she lives in a section that has a toll bridge going in and a toll bridge leaving a small island before getting to her house...I've done many times since...

Using youtube, I got the snowblower going when neighbors could not help. Later on I even tuned it up by draining and changing the oil and spark plug.

Within the first month, I replaced the poorly installed drop ceiling of a small bathroom in the basement. The foam tiles kept falling when least expected . I took down the frame and put in a new one and new tiles all by using youtube .

I installed a floating vinyl store in my basement and also used the compressor and brat nail attachment from the garage.

I change a bathroom faucet (again thanks to youtube)

But what I am extremely proud of, is that I was accepted into an EA apprenticeship and college classes and after much long hours, much studying, much stress and frustration at the age of 52 , I finally achieved post high school education and finished strong with a 91% average . Not only did I get my certification as an EA , I also received the College Diploma . This has given me so much self confidence and self assurance in my abilities while I work part time as a supply for now while awaiting an EA position.

And I have taken charge of my financial mess from having to carry a mortgage when I was not working to bringing an income that helps the small widow pension.

I learned that life will go on, the pain will be better managed and purpose can be found eventually.

I learned to see that I matter ...

Wow, handg, you have accomplished a LOT! Good for you! I am hoping to become a stronger, more capable person that I know my husband would be proud of.

Sylvia

Hey Sylvia!
I sure am proud of you and everyone else here! It's the small steps that add up on this journey that make us find the strength that we never knew or didn't think we had!
Hopefully this works as I'm including a link to a post that I wrote 3 months after Ira passed. I'm now at 20 months and truly astonished with myself and my growth. It's call Rosie the Riveter. Thought it might help lighten the day a bit and show that we are braver than we know and stronger than we think!

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers/discussion/rosie-the-riveter?page=1

Big hugs to all! Keep on swimming!
Darcie

PS....if it doesn't work and you're curious...just go to my profile, click on posts and scroll until you come to the Rosie post....somewhere around page 3.
;)

Hi Darcie. I just read Rosie the Riveter..........very encouraging! Thanks so much for posting this!