That's wonderful! Just be prepared for people looking at you like you're doing the wrong thing by going on with your life instead of grieving/moping around, especially since it hasn't been that long since she's been gone.

Take baby steps in getting to know each other better, especially since you have kids, as you never know what could happen (not saying it would) and you don't want them to get attached and then she goes away. Just my 2 cents...

I have been seeing my counselor since my wife passed. I met this woman and everything is just crazy perfect thus far. I spoke to the counselor yesterday just to be sure that I am on the right track and he assured me that I am. He is going to meet with both of us to begin making sure that we're right for each other.

So I began telling my late wifes family about this new woman last night. Most have been understanding, but my late wifes mother didn't take it very well.

Your late wife's mother didn't take it very well. Well that's a surprise. Her daughter has been dead only 3 months. The supposed love of her live has already found a replacement. Hummm wonder why she is upset...REALLY????

You are still in a deep widows fog. I've read your posts to clearly see that fact. My heart has ached for you and your children.
However, the key to any solid relationship is to slowly build a strong foundation. You are so desperate for a partner to help raise your children that you're putting blinders on. I understand that it's an extremely hard task on your own esp with them being so young. You're scared and overwhelmed. All very understandable.
Please just beware and look at all sides. I'm sorry but I have to ask this… Did you tell her the story of Rachel and Jacob? Was it after that that she told you her middle name was Rachel? Coincidence perhaps but something to consider...
It's so early for family introductions at only 11 days since meeting her. I'm sure they are still in shock from the accident. I can understand your wife's mothers feelings, as a mother… I would be devastated. As a widow...I understand your feelings as well, having found love myself after death...but I still ask you to please slow down. What is the rush after all? Get to know her yourself for a while before the kids get too attached, it would be tragic for them to suffer another loss if this doesn't work out. For all of your sakes, I hope it does work out and you are right!
Prayers to you in hopes that you sit back, relax and take this day by day. If it truly is the love you've prayed for, time will only make your union stronger.
Warm hugs and best of luck to you...
Darcie

Ok, first of all, there is NO REPLACING my late wife. Ever.

I didn't tell her the Rachel story either.

Look, I don't expect you to understand, but God arranged this. I wasn't looking for anyone. It just happened. Besides, I did speak with my pastoral counselor and he assured me that this is perfectly fine. He knows me personally, and has for years. He has also counseled me since her death. I'll take his advice that its ok for me to date.

I thrive on honesty. This woman wants to come to church with me. My late wife's family also attends. I am not going to put this woman through the awkwardness of that type of first meeting. She even agreed to meet with my counselor as well to see if this will work. I am taking the proper steps, and trusting God with the rest. My counselor insisted that I tell everyone.

I refuse to spend the rest of my life miserable and alone. My late wife and I discussed the subject of death more than once. It was agreed that if the living of the two had a chance to be happy, take it.

Yes I realize this is very soon, and that I have lots of pain to work through in the future, but the fact is that I will grieve for my late wife until I die. The reality is simple. There would never be a good time to bring someone new around. They will never be my late wife. It'll hurt regardless.

I agree with Darcie, with one exception. The fact is it's only been 7 days since you met this woman, and that was 2 days after you buried your wife's ashes and posted that beautiful tribute to her here on this site. And you've already met the family? That is truly a red flag.
You are so young and lonely. You've mentioned hoping to find someone in almost every one of your posts. So, you can tell yourself you weren't looking, but if you look deep inside yourself............well, just give it some thought.
It's funny that Darcie and I both had the same suspicion about the Rachel/middle name thing. That is quite a coincidence.
As a grandmother and the mother of a married daughter, I can see how devastating this would be to your dead wife's mother. Her grandchildren just lost their mother! I have a six year old grandson, and it would break my heart if I were in her position right now.
As Darcie says, The key to a solid relationship is to slowly build a foundation. With three little children involved, this is especially true. You made the choice to have these children, it's your job to put their happiness before yours while they're still so young and vulnerable.
I know this all is falling on deaf ears as you think this is a miracle sent by God. Maybe it is. I hope so. But only time and patience will tell.....there are many, many stories in the Bible that we can use to manipulate our minds and hearts when we're so deep in pain. I mean that with no disrespect. I just know what loneliness can do.
You and your family are in my prayers. You once replied to one of my posts with a Bible verse that I lift up many times a day. Thank you for that.
Linda

I'm glad to hear that you're taking so many necessary steps and confiding in the people that you trust and who know and care about you and your family.
I know people who have married straight out of the gate, six months after they were widowed and they have a wonderful marriage. I also know people who have been married 40 years and got divorced. Who's to say what's right? Only God sits that high...
Do what's in your heart...you seem to be crossing all of your T's and dotting all of your I's....
Again, best of luck to you and may God guide you on the path that he has chosen for you and hopefully this new lady.
Darcie

It is a heavy burden to raise kids on your own, and us guys are ill-prepared for that monumental task. But that is the hand you've been handed. You've got to think of the welfare of your kids. I thought I was ready for a committed relationship about a year into my grief, thought myself over it. Boy was I wrong. So I married a woman that I had only dated for 2 weeks. Took her a couple of weeks to quit her job and get moved in with me. I spent 8 days in hell with the psycho bitch that ended in her threatening to kill me and my having to get a restraining order. I had previously dated and became good friends with an RN that had worked many years in the psycho ward at a large hospital. She told me that give anyone at least 6 months because if they have mental issues, it usually will surface in that time. I was blinded to many warning signs, and as a pastor believed her to be sent by God, just like you. And as an attorney, I thought myself above making poor decisions. Turns out I made absolutely the worst decision ever in my life, But like so many times, I had to learn the hard way. My sound judgment that served me so well most of my adult life was non-existent in my grief. And I was a year into it. When it comes to relationships, I continually surprise myself at 26 months how absolutely stupid I can be when it comes to relationships. So I say, No way Jose. If it really is meant to be, it will happen with the same woman a couple years down the road just the same as if you jump into it today. I know I wouldn't listen to the good advice given me by many here, including Darcie. Wish I would have. If nothing I've said deters you, then think and pray on this. Your children are grieving too, whatever their ages. They need lots of time to adjust to life without mom, and bringing any woman into the picture so soon is not healthy for them. Get a maid or a nanny, or both, if you can't handle parenting by yourself. And I'll leave you with this thought. If I recall correctly, Jacob was not a widower and certainly was not grieving. And his union to Rachel was God's plan as a patriarch of Israel, all part of preparing the world for the seed to come (Jesus.) And wasn't it Jacob that had to wait 7 years to marry? May God guide you. ~~~ Scottie

Love and blessings to all that have posted or are just reading this thread. My dear, sweet husband took his last breath exactly three months ago today. I am amazed at how sincerely I can relate to every comment made. My Mother died when I was just 18. My father asked out a woman the family knew from church less than 3 months after Mom's funeral. On the first date he told her he loved her and just to be clear there was no relationship going on prior. I was horrified. I thought, how could he say I love you that fast? My parents had been married for 26 years and had 5 children together. The youngest was just 12 and I know my father was hoping for help in raising him. Well that was almost 35 years ago. My father married her after waiting what he felt was the obligatory 1 year and they have been together ever since. My point in this rambling is, while taking things slowly, easing into a relationship, protecting the children, and being respectful of your beloved wife's family are really encouraging and loving words of wisdom to reflect on, sometimes you just know. I knew there was something very special about Joe after our first dance. I recall thinking, oh my gosh, I think I could fall for this guy. I felt from the first date that my Mother had orchestrated our meeting, in keeping a promise she made to me to "pay me back" for taking care of her while she was in the hospital. I just knew!!! That being said, I also realized that if I was right, that he was the one, and that my Mother chose him just for me, that giving our love time would be smart and would prove my intuition was spot on. We married two years after that first date and had an amazing 28 years together. And while I wish to judge not lest we be judged, I simply suggest that you be open to the INTENTION of all who walk this same path and cared enough to post. Keep us posted! I will pray for you and all you love. Lisa

I'm happy for you.

You don't really need to defend the legitimacy of your newfound happiness. It is your life and you and your family will live with the decisions you are making. Others are offering their experience because they have seen more. But keep your eyes open and follow your heart and not try to rush through this.

It hurts to be left without our partners, especially at this active time of year. I feel nothing-- I have to go back to my husband's hometown (now with no one waiting for me there), pick up a reserve of his ashes and possibly sprinkle them at sea. I'm stalling. I will feel like I'm tossing him away. I'm even stalling trying to find the Will in my files saying that this is what he wanted.
On top of it all last night around 3:30am ( I'm being candid with you all) I was woken up by his voice calling, "Douglas!" It was his voice but it sounded changed, i.e., matured...I thought, what is this? I don't really know anyone named Douglas.
Anyway, I will see what will happen. I heard both my dead mother and sister's voices each early in the morning in the past, but they were only saying MY name. Funny I looked up the name Douglas later and found that it was originally a feminine name in the 1600 and 1700's?!
I know this seems like I'm rambling off on a tangent but your prayer and answer to it could be completely valid...There ARE many instances of quick matching in the bible. It is ideal though, to get to know someone very well before entertaining marriage. Keep both eyes open. Love and companionship even with a friend is a comfort to us these days. You said this woman is already saying or thinking that it could work? Does that mean she's saying she's "in love" with you in 10 days? That IS fast and questionable...God bless...

Do what you want but I have to say three months in for me just about anything looked good, 3.5 years later, I am still doubting my ability to get into a good relationship

I had a friend that rushed into marriage 4 months after his wife of 54 years died. It is a disaster. First, his son won't talk to him because he feels like my friend dishonored his mother by rushing in so quickly. Second, he wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship. She has taken advantage of him from the start of the relationship. All she wanted was a sugar daddy.

Not saying this won't work out but be careful. My husband died just over three months ago and I don't feel like I'm capable of making even small decisions yet let alone one as big as getting remarried. my emotions just aren't ready for that yet.

My friend also thought that this woman was from God, but she clearly wasn't. Just sayin think and pray some more before you jump into something you might regret. My prayers are with you that you choose the right path.

Allow yourself enough time to heal and consider getting some professional advice, specially regarding to your children's wellbeing. Right now, they need YOU. Don't be afraid, there are many resources to help you out, like babysitters, nannies, tutors, and grandparents...
It's too soon for you and your 3 kids, to have processed such a huge loss. You have a whole mix of emotions going on, that you need to sort out. Right now, I understand it's about the children that need time to heal, not a beautiful woman that finds them adorable. Don't get me wrong, if this is your new love, I do hope that eventually everything works out fine. God bless you all, He is amazing!