I've been divorced twice before. Johnny was my 3 marriage, the most profound depth of love I've ever felt, people can tell you that they love you,, What Johnny taught me was that is was more important to be shown love. My two ex's always said that they loved me, did they show it, NO!!! Not ever. SO no they are not the same. To be divorced is to be done with the marriage, but life for them and you goes on. This death, has blown me away, nothing will ever be the same again. I once talked to my cousin after my first divorce, as her husband was dying, she said that too, that they were similar she never said one was worse than the other.

I think neither is greater or less, just depends on the two person perspective. From my point of view death is for worse for me. Death is not wanted, and love is always still abound. Divorce means the parting of the way rather voluntarily or involuntarily. I can not call sean, for help or advice, can never see him or hear his voice. In my opinon, and this is strictly for me, death is by far worse, having been divorced previously. Just my 2 cents worth. big hugs carla

I have 3 brothers, no sisters and Iam the youngest, all born in an era where till death do us part, meant something. Today divorce is almost like cancer with similar statistics. Not one of us brothers went through divorce but two of us suffered the loss of a spouse, me twice. Erica my last soulmate really went through it with her cancer, suffering both phyically and mentally, knocking me for a six also. How on earth you can make comparison. With a divorce surely you know that there ok health wise, but when you have feelings for a person suffering, any person for that matter, it has to be far worse. When Erica passed away this wasnt the person I knew. The sorrow and heartache cant really be matched.

Death is worse. If you choose to divorce then its a choice and you can see that person, talk with that person, and or be with that person at some point IF you so choose again. We who have lost our loved ones would do anything for that chance again. I read another post here that said until a divorcee goes through the death of a spouse/partner they have no idea what it feels like.

My very first support group 3 years ago mixed divorced and widowed people saying it was all the same. It definitely isnt. The divorced people spoke of how they hated or were hurt by therr spouses, child custody issues, cheating etc to name a few. I was there devastated by the death of my soulmate. Very very different losses. I left that group after 1 session and found a support group for widows and widowers. The 2 cant be compared.

Really no comparison, and "I know how you feel" just doesn't work.

Might be well intended, but comparisons don't help.

"My divorce hurt terribly, can't imagine your loss" might be kinder.

Loss is not loss, divorce is not death. even in death there are differences such as the death of a parent, spouse or child. I believe they would all hit you differently. It's been almost three years since my husband passed and I have to say comparing death with divorce is the one thing that still angers me.

I had the same thing said to me. I guess we'll all hear it at some point.
I tried explaining why it wasn't the same, but was told, " the death of love is just the same"
Completely stupid answer, but it's based on lack of first hand experience. As others here have said, until it actually happens to you, you have no idea how it really feels.