It takes time for our mind to accept our loss and I want to say how sorry I am for yours. I know I thought I would see my husband when I walked through the door and the sadness hit every time. I would wake up in the morning and be reduced to tears that this wasn't a dream. I even heard him walking, but no one was home but me.

You have just began this journey and I won't lie. It's the worse thing I've ever been through. I found being here, with others who had gone through this or were going through it helped me get to where I am today. I hope you find the same support and comfort with these wonderful people here. Sharon

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a definitive answer, but at 5 months, I still expect him to come out of the bedroom...or through the front door...we have a gate outside the complex that squeaks...every time it does, for just a moment , I expect him to be at the door...then I remember..

Hi Allie,
Glad you found us here. We are all asking your question, "When does it stop"? Only time will answer that for you, and I think there is no magic formula. I can only speak for myself (my wife died a little over 3 months ago), but it just kept getting worse and worse for me until I found this group about 3 weeks ago. At least I have a little more understanding that I have been through the shock of my life, and that my mind just couldn't handle it. Everything changed for me. But our life must go on, as we struggle to find our new normal. As we read what others are going through, we find that we are not alone in this journey - and that is a great blessing. Nothing is normal about what we are all experiencing -- deep sorrow and sadness over losing the love of our life. So I encourage you to come here often, start reading the older posts, and you gain a little understanding that this grief is unlike any other that could be suffered. When you're ready, start posting your thoughts or journaling. Writing my feeling seems to help me tremendously. For me, it wasn't until just recently that I was able to walk into my now empty house without being enveloped with a loneliness beyond description. I have now come to realize that only my Juanita died, and I am refusing to be buried. Life must go on - just by myself. May God bless you and comfort you in this time of sadness. I am so sorry for your loss. ~ Scott

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I come home everyday, see my wife's car, and for a brief moment I think "She beat home again from work". I'm not sure if I will ever completely feel like she is gone. I so desperately want her to walk through the doorway or find her napping on the sofa.

I recently joined this group too. I lost my wife on July 27. I've been reading through several posts here and they have helped me a little. Knowing there are people out here that are going through the same struggles and share their feelings gives me some comfort and perspective.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Allie I can not imagine what a sudden shock you received a couple of weeks ago. I had four months to try to prepare for my the loss of my wife. in reality you can not be prepared for this horrible journey we are all on. There is no way to provide words of comfort to you, except to tell you that you have found a place where we are all have lost the love of our life and we are in deep pain. I am 5 months into this journey and I have learned that unless you have lost your spouse you can not understand what a day is like to be a widow/widower. Here at DS you have a group of people who did not want to be here but are going through a similar pain that you are experiencing. There is no timetable for this pain to go away if ever. May you find peace at some time in remembering the good times and that could be a while before your grief allows you to smile at a memory of your spouse. God bless

Allie, so very very sorry about your loss. Glad that you found DS when you did. It took me awhile before I did & sure could of used their knowledge and wisdom sooner.

Like others have said, it is a journey like non-other and until you lose the love of your life you have no idea -- I didn't.

Even after 15months, I think Larry will walk through the door someday but as time goes bye, I know he won't. But I have pictures all over and talk to him everyday . I know you are hurting and it's very raw & painful, but we are here for you.

Take care

all I know is, that varies with each person. You are too early to "be near there" yet.
So Sorry!
Keep sharing here. it's a wonderful group of people.

So sorry for your loss. Like you, my husband was taken suddenly... there was no time to prepare... not that you could ever prepare for this type of loss. It am 7 1/2 months into this journey, and I still have these thoughts... I keep thinking it isn't real.. it can't be real.
I have, on occasion, even thought that I could "undo" it. Praying, begging God for just one miracle for the kids and me. There is a lot of that, actually. Bartering and pleading to God or the universe or anyone in any position to set life back to what it was before everything fell apart. I have technically reached the point where I "know" it is real, but I doubt that I will ever get to a point of true acceptance. It all seems unfair and unreal. I am glad that you found this group early in your own journey, as the people here are extremely helpful. They understand this pain more than the people in our everyday lives...
Hugs to you... Amy

So sorry for your loss. This is a very difficult road that we are travelling I wish there was some time limit on grief but unfortunately there isn't. This site has helped me when I feel alone. I usually log on and there is always someone here or something new to read which helps in the late evening. Again hugs to you!! You have come to the right place....

I too am so very sorry for your loss. At nearly four months I still for a split second expect my husband to be home when I see his truck parked in the drive. When my phone rings I too think it may be him asking what I need from the store. etc. etc. etc. Just so hard to believe he is gone forever. Coming here you will find love, comfort and compassion. These people all get what you are going through. This is a tough agonizing journey. But, we must try to get through each day. Some days are better than others, some are just plain lousy. Hugs to all, Michele

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. It takes time to accept and work through so many emotions that we go through.
It is the hardest thing I have ever had to get through. With time, it does get easier.
Just know our support, encouragement and caring, will help you, every step of the way.
Gentle hugs for you.....Sandra

I am so sorry for your loss. There's really no answer for you question because each of us is different. At 10 months I still think I hear his truck coming and I still hear his footsteps. I still have his boots where he always lett them. We all have the same reason for the journey we are unwillingly taking but we all take different directions. Be good to yourself and listen to the signals your body gives you. One step at a time, one minute at a time and even one second at a time. I too will not lie, This is the abosolute hardest thing you will ever endure. Come here often we all understand. Hugs

I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. How devastating!!
If only i had the words to make you feel much better but those words will only help after you have had time to grieve. I lost my husband 10 months ago to a 2nd cancer. He suffered so much with both cancers and all that came from it. His whole life had losses that hurt him deep to his soul.
Just try to hold on. Talk to him, cry , keep your best friends around and come here where EVERYONE understands how you are feeling.
At 10 months i still have meltdowns. First it seems it's getting so much better than it all falls apart for a while again. All we can do it keep trying to make our spouses proud.
If you become so deep in despair please see your doctor. Don't think that they cannot help,, because they can and my doctor has helped me tremendously - and yet i still have a heart that feels pain. But I can't imagine what state i would be in right now without my doctor.
I wish you days ahead of pleasant dreams and people who lend their ear to hear you out and a shoulder to lean against.
please take care.

I am sorry for your tragic loss. The grief is still raw and I am sure you are in a state of shock. I am 6 months into my own personal pain but it has gotten a little easier after the initial shock. I come here nearly everyday and it helps. The folks here are kind and gentle and know exactly what the terrible pain grief is about. Take care of yourself. ~Pete