I am at 3+ years out and I get much contradictory advice from people. I am wondering when someone says, "You've got to move on," what that means. In the past three years I've settled my husbands estate which was complicated by his sudden dea th and the fact i did not know his financial status or passwords, I've stayed with his father, his brother, his cousin, my neighbor up til their deaths, I've helped my sister through cancer treatment, I've found and worked at a part time job, traveled in and outside of the U.S., purchased a truck, given away cars, maintained relationships with step children, hired contrators for major house repairs and begun several volunteer activities. Am I real happy? No. Am I okay? Yes. I'm trying to meet people and be of service in my community. But I haven't taken my wedding ring off. I don't date. I had several indecent proposals and several more polite inqueries as to whether I'll ever have a boyfriend again. The honest answer is: I don't know. I still miss my husband, very much at times, I don't think I could ever go through this kind of loss again and I haven't seen anyone who exactly inspires me to throw the ring in a drawer and run after him. I also have stepchildren and I wonder how they would feel if I went out with someone else. They are in their thirties now and have children of their own. They grew up here with me and my husband. He had custody because his wife was an active alcoholic/ addict who had many unstable/ criminal boyfriends.
To be completely truthful, I hope to be with my husband again after my own death. Am I unbalanced? I just don't get it. What am I supposed to do? I really am lonely many times but I don't think "hooking up" would ever be for me. Please advise. What is "moving on?"