We would have coffee in the evening and talk about the day. We also had cats, whichever one of us had the, we called it COL cat on lap, the other would go and get the coffee. I miss all those little things, it always tasted better when she got it for me.
now even the coffee is kind of tasteless, but I still have some every evening and mentaly I tell her about my day as I did before, it kind of helps. I'm probably still in the denile stage. I also do not believe that anyone else will ever fill that space in my heart, there may be someone else someday however, no one will fill that space again, it is still full = of her.

Our house is half a block from my office. I have a big picture window facing the alley behind the house. Whenever he was home and I was at work he would walk down the alley to come see me. I look out the window all the time waiting for him to come see me. He would bring me lunch or just come for a visit.
Its heart breaking looking out that window sometimes.

I miss each morning when I leave to go to the senior centers, I would always say "Clint, I'm gone." and he would say "Okay Baby, traveling mercies." So when I leave I say what I said and I say what he said. And I smile. I miss watching Wheel of Fortune with him and we would see who guessed first. I miss when he would surprise me with gifts, just because. He was my second husband, married for 29 years, but together for 36 years. He was a loving, and a man of strength even though he was quiet. He spoiled me and I miss him dearly. I do know that his suffering is over, no chemo, no radiation and no more massive amounts of medication. I believe I will see him again and I hold to that. God bless of you. I shall keep you in my daily prayers that you will be comforted, strengthen and above all you will have peace as we experienced a different journey.

I miss his voice, his smile, his way of touching my hand, I miss listening to him fuss at the tv over football games, and I miss the many times he would fuss at the person driving in the left hand lane of a four lane highway. Most of all I miss his words of wisdom and his guidance that grounded me.

40 months here and I miss hearing him say (as I walk into the the bathroom) "Gawd you're beautiful, what'd I ever do to get someone like you, I finally done something right...." and I'd laugh and say some smart remark like, me beautiful, you need your glasses on.......miss sitting and having our coffee together, taking rides to who know's where and just the every day things.....so I understand what you are saying, coming home and knowing that no one (other than my dog) will be glad to see me or anxiously waiting for me to get home.....it does get easier, some days are easier then others....take care...hugs, Sandi

Two things really came to mind today....one is the "Yoo-Hoo's". Whenever one of us would come through the front door, we'd shout, "Yoo Hoo!" to announce our presence. The other would respond with "Yoo Hoo". And there would be that moment of connection. It is so weird to come home alone and have no one to Yoo Hoo to.

The other thing I REALLY miss, tonight especially, is someone to help me make decisions. We'd planned on re-doing our bathroom, kitchen, etc. but opted to travel for years instead. Well, since I cannot travel at this time, I am moving forward with tearing out the carpeting (yuk) in the bathroom, getting new floors, toilets, counters, etc. I was in Home Depot tonight, and lost it (second time I have done that in the store) in the lighting department, remembering how carefully we'd selected lighting for a house we had built several years ago. I began sobbing. Went to the back of the store, and pulled it together...then was picking out flooring tiles, and began sobbing all over again. I HATE this. trying to do home repairs, remodeling, ALONE. Yup. I miss him a lot in Home Depot.

Today I was spray painting a rocker for our bedroom, and could not get the cap off the spray paint. My first reaction of course was to go to the office and have Don do it. Sigh. It is going to be the little things like that that will get me. I miss his big hugs and the sound of his voice telling me he loves me.