Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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tikibell1 10/18/2013

The companionship... someone to have morning coffee with, someone who honestly cared what I would be doing for the day and meeting for dinner then retiring the day together. Now I get up alone I call one of the kids and usually get no answer or the I am in a rush this morning call you later...then I have my coffee alone check my email and watch the clock wishing it would hurry up and be time for work where I have people who seem happy to see me! Time goes so fast at work and I am home too quickly to an empty place and more time to fill before I try and sleep. I meet people but no one fills the space he did I wish and some days pray a lot that some one comes along I trust and care about to fill this void who knows maybe tomorrow.

Shrn 10/18/2013

I miss the life we planned and worked so hard to have. I miss him in his chair reading the paper. I miss him saying, "want a cup of coffee, hon? Yeah, get me a cup too."

tikibell1 10/18/2013

He worked nights and he would come home make coffee come in and turn on Regis and Kelly handing me a fresh cup of coffee. He had his hour alone time usually on the computer when the show ended we had brunch and visited, he slept while I worked then we met for dinner... together time then we cuddled for awhile ending our day and he went to work and I slept. I miss the routine.

jewells1 10/18/2013

Coffee in the morning. Yeah that is hard for me...our time, starting the day.

jewells1 10/18/2013

From months ago, but join me.

http://www.dailystrength.org/people/2543634/journal/6455832

michaelbmanning 10/18/2013

Mike and I worked together in our business. We shared the daily responsibilities of raising our children. I miss having him here to be my backup.He was always right there and now he
is not.

Maggie

cliffskat 10/18/2013

Cliff and I shared our office/studio and literally worked back-to-back. Once in awhile I would stop to show him something I was working on and he would say "N-I-I-CE!" We were always comfortable working together - that's how we met in the first place - and unlike most couples, preferred it when we could work together. It was so easy - we finished each other's sentences. We were different and yet of one mind.

Hugs......

deleted_user 10/18/2013

I totally understand. My days are busy but it's the lonely long nights and tonight its raining and that makes it worse for me. It always has. It has been 2 months for me and sometimes I know I should reach out to someone but I dont like whining about my situation. I'm very thankful for this group. God will help all of us get through this. I'm sure of that. He (God) has gotten me through many things like watching my husband suffer for 12 years and not being able to fix him. Hugs to you. Shiloah

Sadfire 10/18/2013

Coffee without Jose will never be the same. Evey time I drank coffee he always made it for me. Since his passing I tried making a cup of coffee and I just cried; it wasn't the same.. He had a special way of preparing it, he would always say that it had a special ingredient; his love... Nothing will ever be the same not even my coffee....

silverfoxwife 10/19/2013

I wish I could roll back the clock to the day before he went on to the plane. I dropped him off went to work. He called, the plane was delayed and asked me to go back to the airport to have lunch with him. We ate lunch, holding hands, walked around a bit then went back to the airport. We glanced at each other and that was the last time not knowing we would never see each other again. I missed seeing him, enjoying his animals and watering the flowers, just being home.

deleted_user 10/19/2013

I miss knowing that she is home and waiting to be together again. I just got back from a very short business trip. The entire time I was away I wanted to call her and say hello. When I arrived at the airport I wanted to call let her know that I landed safely. When I was in my car, I wanted to call home and talk to her while I was driving. At that time I felt so alone and so sad knowing that she was not home waiting for me. Driving home was such a terrible feeling. I just don't see any end in sight. It seems like I will feel this way forever. I miss her so much.

NewRoadsForMe 10/19/2013

Your stories are heartwarming, everyone. Coffee is an important part of a relationship. At night we used to drink a cup of decaf. If the cat was in my lap when I needed another cup, I'd say, "Honey, would you mind getting me another cup? I have a cat in my lap." and he would laugh and get it. If the cat jumped off right before he got up, I'd say, "If I don't get up, she'll come right back!" Ha, ha, ha! That used to be our sayings when we wanted the other one to get the coffee. Our humor. Special to us. Memories are so lovely, being reminded with a smile.

gerald222 10/19/2013

I miss her physical presence in the house. We didnt have to say a word to know love was all around us. I would also say her touch.
I would give the world to hold her hand again. Gerald

deleted_user 10/20/2013

Seems like coffee is a common theme here. I was always the super- early riser between us, so I would go down and have my first cup alone. Later I'd hear thrmphone intercom ring and her sweet voice saying "Would someone like to bring me some coffee?"

I loved going upstairs with my second cup to have coffee in bed and just talk about the day to come. I never took moments for granted as I knew therenwere so many people alone in the world who never had those intimate moments with someone they truly loved. I am so grateful to have through my life from 16-59 with a very, very wonderful woman who was loved by so many people.

deleted_user 10/20/2013

I just lost my husband to cancer last week. I feel like I live in a grey zone with no joy. He used to be a huge american football fan and I miss coming back home to the sound of a great game going, and seeing him so contented. I am so lonely, it hurts so, so much........We werre married for 25 years. We thought he had 1 year: he lost his battle after 3 months. How do I go on. Any tips from anyone as to how to survive and find meaning again. Danielle

Rainycreek 10/20/2013

We never drank coffee together, don't even have it in the house. What I miss most is the sharing, you know how you store up all the things you found interesting throughout the day, and can't wait to tell your other half so you can laugh, be outraged, or get all choked up together. I loved that.
Last night I spent 3 hours watching videos and hearing his voice is such a gift, I cry when I first hear it, but I love to go to bed with it still in my mind. I'd give anything to be with him but I would settle for a conversation.

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