Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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What I miss

Truhal
Truhal
I really miss talking to my husband about trivial things--you know, stupid, unimportant things that no one really cares about, but that you're happy to share. Ex, that restaurant was torn down, or did you see that horrible dress so-and-so wore to the Golden Globes. Now I come home and there's no one to share this with. So, you know where this is going:

What trivial thing would you share with your spouse if they were here now?

I'll start: There is an actual name for this year for being the same age as your birth year. It's called the Beddian year, named after a firefighter who died in 9/11. Ex: If you're born in 1962 and you turn 62 than it's your Beddian year. It's called your golden year when you are the same age as your birth day. Who knew?
katerlou
katerlou
I miss my husband calling me on his lunch hour (12:10) everyday like clockwork. On days that he didn't call until 12:30, I knew his lunch hour was shortened. I miss coming home and having dinner with him. I knew I was tired of making dinner every night, but I never realized how lonely it would be to eat dinner every night by yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I aready posted, but Hope54 brought back one more memory for me. Jeff always like the history chanel too. He always watched the WWII shows, I used to tease him and say, hey, I can tell yea how it ends, and he would give me a smirk.....Thanks Hope, and thank Truhal and everyone here!
nowjustme
nowjustme
I have to say I miss it all! Fights an everything, I'd do it over again.

I miss the talking, the hand holding, just being there for each other.
I just don't think anyone can take their place. I would have changed a pile of things when he was here but now I would take him anyway I could get him.
lucyd1969
lucyd1969
There are too many to list, but some I miss desparately are him here with me
"saying goodnight and sharing a goodnight kiss."
just sitting & talking. He was my confident & best friend.
Going for a drive & him doing the driving. He always drove. I hate driving by myself now.
Him singing to me. He had a wonderful voice & I miss it so much.
I always felt safe & secure with him and now I don't. I felt loved & now I don't.
I wish I could tell him him one more time how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him.
Lucy
Infinimax
Infinimax
Although I miss EVERYTHING about Al, I really miss sharing our own 'insider' language with him. You know, those sometimes silly, unique phrases that didn't mean much to anyone but the two of us.

No matter what we were doing or where we were going, we frequently used own own (sometime made up) language to communicate with each other. It was special to only us.
Lady101
Lady101
I miss his smiling, wonderful sideways looks with his eyes twinkling at me ....oh God, I just want him back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yep, missing her comments about the little stuff, of which now is the big stuff because she not here to say this or that!
I miss our after breakfast talk or lunch on the deck with the sun shining and just talking about nothing....
This does bring good memories and sadness too to share!
THanks
rochelle1466
rochelle1466
reading all of what you all have written allowed me to shed a tear today at work at my desk. There are so many things to so many people. The thing is we never ever thought we would be writingn to say those little things we will never see in our spouse again. mmmmm ...I miss him calling me no matter what every single day at lunch as well...miss the entire relationship but am thrilled to have had it
missmyhero
missmyhero
I miss talking to him and talking and talking and talking and talking and him acting like it all mattered because it all mattered to me no matter how petty or little it was. I so miss our long car rides, our Friday night date nights...(deciding where the surf and turf would come from), and him tucking me in at night and him saying, "there's my pretty lady" every morning when he would see me. I miss seeing him with the children and grand children and seeing the way he made everyone feel like they were the most special person in the world. As much as I miss us talking I miss cuddling with him. His Birthday is coming up the 23rd of this month so right now expecially I just plain miss him!
hugs...
-Diana
Maritele10
Maritele10
I miss all the ways my husband made me feel special and loved. He was a kind, funny, and warm man. Monday Jan. 21th is his birthday. It is so hard. Marilyn
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with all i've read here, i lost my wife last summer, in my arms, at 730am, Aug. 1st, 2012. I think of her every minute of the day, and will always do so. We have 2 funny, furry, wonderful cats, they go through this with me. Theyre so brave compared to me. So many days i pray for God to take me, and reunite me with her. Not sure what else to say here, im not sure if this site shows my email addy, but if they do, anyone can mail me if they need a bud. Thank you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I miss my neck rubs! He always knew where the tension spots were. He was always working around the house outside and so proud of how nice he kept it. I miss the way he would look at me with a smile and twinkle in his beautiful eyes.
alwaysafraid61
alwaysafraid61
I think its those little things I miss the most, calling or texting him from work weather it was to vent about a bad day or share something good that had happened & sometimes it was just a "Luv You" text but mostly its just having him here with me to share our favorite TV programs or our Saturday night date which was going to church & eating out after, I now go to church on Sundays. I even miss his nitpicking about little things that seemed trivial to me but wasn't to him, I would give anything to have him back with me nitpicking & all.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I miss hearing him call me "My Love". I miss our Friday nite dinner dates, cooking together, Seing him sitting in his chair doing his morning prayers and bible reading, attending Sunday church services and singing together, road trips, singing and just listening to the radio, watching him playing with our grandkids and dogs, seeing him mowing grass and riding the tractor in the country...Oh so many things. I miss him here with me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I miss everything. I miss the simple things. I miss him bringing me coffee in the morning and making my breakfast. I miss sharing trivial things. My husband watched the history channel while it wasn't my first choice, I would watch it with him sometimes as he would watch lifetime movies with me ~ sometimes. He was my best friend who I never grew tired of. I miss him terribly. Today is day 28. I do not know how I've made this far along.