My family was very supportive. They visited my husband everyday while he has in the coma. My kids were there everyday. When he passed away my family all came together and did the preparation for the funeral. My sisters took care of everything since I was so lost and crying all the the time. One of my sisters stayed with me for a month and would not leave me alone and was always there to talk, cry and she took care of me. After she left my kids took care of me. My other sister comes every weekend to spend the time with me and helps me around the house. I still have some friends that call me and one of my sisters calls me everyday to see how I am doing. My sister-in-law calls me every night to check on me. I also found a lot of comfort here at DS with you all. This site has helped me make it through up to now. Of course there are some people who said they were our friends that have not called to see how I am doing but I am glad that I still have others that keep in touch. My sisters are great. Thank you for this topic.

Don died at home and his brother was here with his wife when everything started going down hill. My daughter and son were also here so there was no need to call them. In fact, I went in the bedroom to give him medication and while talking to him he began to seize. I handled the immediate emergency with the help of my son and we kept him safe. After the seizure I called the hospice nurse and she stopped over. She said it wouldn't be very long. She asked if I needed someone here with me, and I said no I was okay. Well, then my daughter-in-law came with the grandchildren and I called our best friends who got here in record time.

We were in and out of the bedroom while these things were happening and ended up with everyone there together. I felt so loved and supported to have everyone there and I'm sure Don did too. It was so peaceful and beautiful, God was there directing the entire event.

After the funeral we all went to our best friends house and she had everything to eat and relax. In fact for over a year they had me for dinner and to visit every night. I was truly blessed by the whole event. My church was there from his diagnosis to his death and remain an active part of my life today. Sharon

This is a good thread TJ.
My church family were the ones that were here for me after my wife
passed. The pastor was at my house within 1 hour, talked with me
and my kids. He was with me when I went to the funeral home to
set up the service, etc. They provided meals for us for the next
7 days. I really cannot say enough about my church family, they were
very supportive. As I have no family of my own, other than my kids,
there was no family support. My wife's sister lived 200 miles away,
came the next day. She was as supporting as she could be, but
considering this was her only sister, she was doing her own grieving.
We also had a neighbor just across the street that brought us a
dinner the evening of the day my wife passed. She was very
supportive also.

Dennis

I haven't answered this thread because I'm afraid I was in such a fog and in shock that I don't remember who was here, except that all our children were here for the last week before Denny died and took turns staying after and other people came and went before and after. People brought food, the Minister that married us came, friends came, everyone talked. I don't know what anyone said or what I did. I was in shock and on auto pilot. The children and I made all the arrangements, but I can't tell you how. I received over 50 cards that I'm going to re-read sometime because I do not remember any of them now.

The footprints poem comes to mind. I think God was carrying me because I had no idea myself what to do, and I cannot remember what I did. I only remember flashes of moments frozen in time.

I remember the two things that kept going through my mind. I wanted to make sure that Denny had a beautuful service which reflected him, and I needed to hold myself together enough so our children could survive losing him during those first weeks.

I feel myself tighten up like I am forgetting to breathe when I think about it. I think I just kept remembering to breathe early on. It was so aweful! I am so thankful for all of the people who were there for us. I also remember that each of our children had their own friends that were also there for them. Thank God!

-Diana

I had my sons there and thier wifes were with me when my husband went to the lord. It was very emontional, but we all needed to be there with him and watch he become peacful. As soon as he passed he was not sick any more, his color was not a sick color and he was rest ful, thank you lord for that. I drove my self and had to drive home with my youngest son, that was the hardest drive of my life. I did not sleep at all that night, could not go into our room so I just laid on the couch and cried alot that night. My best friend came over and helped me call about the creamation. Everywhere we called they wanted 1,000 dollars or more, finally we found a group who helped us with the creamation for free, Thank you Gaurdian Angel service, It took a month to get it all done but it did not cost me a cent. My Daughter in law got ahold of her church and they did the memorial service for free. We did have shirts made in memory of him and that is all that we had to pay for, thanks to all the family,friends and my work for donanting money to my family. I do remember being in a in a daze and just walking around crying. It has been 7 months now and im not crying as much just trying to arrange things in my mind.

TJ - Thanks for being so raw, open and honest. I was blessed in that I had many great family and friends who supported my kids and I and helped us in so many ways. However, in the end grief is a solitary experience. No one can really share it with you, no one can take it away from you, and no one can be there 24 hours a day to pick up the broken pieces when you lie shattered on the floor. THE GOOD NEWS IS that over two years out from losing my husband those broken pieces are slowly being put together and a new and even more beautiful life is being built. That is the hope through the darkest nights, that at some point you WILL be able to breathe and function again. My love and prayers go out to you.

I have to say I felt mostly alone from the time my husband became ill til now. His family was very supportive & came from other states to help out, help me arrange the memorial service but they wanted me to get over it. My family (with the exception of my parents) became very aloof. I still have not heard from some of them for nearly 7 months now. It hurts, this grieving alone. I try to tell myself that they care & just can't show it, but my overall feeling is that they really don't care or miss him. I need to get over my feelings of dissappointment & anger towards them but it is hard.