words can hold a lot of meaning. but also they have different meanings to different people. I call myself his wife. but on papers and things I write in widow if it is not there instead of circling single. I even list his name on my kids forms when it asks for father. I don't leave that blank...they have a father.

I'm not offended by the word. It just means my husband has passed on. In the bible widows are to be honored.

Oh girl you are playing my song. I hate that word. It is offensive to me as well. I have no intention of adapting to it. My children have a father and I have a husband. I know he's gone, I know how it sounds. Bit to me I'm still married. I know that my feelings may change in time it's only been 7 months, but I just find it dismisses all I was to him, all he was to me.
I'm sorry everyone my day has just sucked and I have cried more today than I had energy for. The kids had to comfort me I broke down in Walmart and sobbed all the way home with their little eyes looking at me saddened with no idea how to help. Oh they helped and I told them so, but I did cry for a long time. I thought I was doing well had a good run, now I feel again like he died 20 mins ago.
Sorry I rambled. I'm sorry everyone.
Love
Cindy

The first year I was angry at the word "widow" and thought, 'that's not me!' I was widowed at 50 - weren't widows supposed to be in their 80's? It was so unfair.

As the years passed and my life changed, I redefined for myself what 'widow' meant, and then others tried to tell me I was not a 'widow' because I had remarried. But Cliff is still dead - I will always be his 'widow.'

At 6.5 years out, 'widow' is just one word that describes me, it is not the only word that describes me. Just as 'wife,' 'mother,' 'sister,' 'daughter,' etc., are not the only thing I am.

In the early days it is all you can think of, all you can see the world through, and you feel like that is all there is - the intense pain of being a 'widow.' The pain will lessen, and someday you will know it is not all there is of you. It becomes a part of you, but not the only part, and you won't always see the world through a widow's veil of tears.

Don't give up. You can get through this, and you will redefine these words for yourself.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

For me, I appreciate that we have a term for our situation. Widow acknowledges the fact that we were married and all that means. I get upset on forms that do not have that option and I have to mark single. I am not single but I'm not married either in that my husband cannot be my contact person for emergencies, I can't include his income, etc. etc. I want people to know who I was for 39 years--the wife of my husband--and widow accomplishes that for me.

I feel differently about this. Wouldn't it be worse if we didn't have ths word and had to define ourselves as single? When I went to kevin's grave I remembered us being there for the memorial Day ceremony a few yrs ago (it's a national cemetery). There were civil war reenactors including a woman dressed in "widow's weeds" and riding in a draped black carriage. At the time I thought more about how hot the reenactor and actual widows must have been. But thinking about it that day and since, there are times when I wish I could wear all black and that we were still the the times when this would communicate that I am in mourning, that I am suffering. Differently than other problems I think sometimes I would like to wear my heart on my sleeve regarding my widowhood.

I hate being a widow, but I don't find it insulting as a descriptor. A widow's watch is a balcony from a high window or door that looks to the sea so women could watch for the ships to come home. A widow's peak describes a hairline that used to be thought to come from worry. And the widow hand in card games is the extra one with no one t8 play it. Not incorrect illustrations of how I feel.

I guess I am old fashion enough to feel there's a certain dignity in the title in this country. Of course if you search the word widow you will see all sorts of information on the abuse widows suffer in other countries and cultures.

I am not saying I am right, but I would be interested in hearing why the word bothers some of us. And I hope my perspective will help lessen the sting of the word for som3.

I do not like the word as to me it is what I unwillingly with no warning became one day! It means sadness and beginning again when you do not want to but because you have to. I was a wife and now I am not but I do not want to be labeled! He is still a husband to me and a father and a grandchild death does not have to take that away from him. Gosh I just realized I am feeling angry today so sorry! Hugs!!!

meant to say grandfather!

It was awkward and strange the first time I had to say "IM a Widow" I don't like it, but I don't have any other responses for when someone ask if IM married or single

A word is just a word. It could be "xedect" and mean what we are when our husbands die. I find most strangers very kind when I say my husband "passed." or I was widowed 5 years ago. It happened at the dentist's yesterday. Most women know that it could happen at any time and it's a nightmare that we manage to get through but with plenty of pain.

I don't have trouble with the "Widow " word, its what we are. Women without a spouse, a spouse that has died.

I do not like what it does, it make people shy away from us for no reason. It makes us lonely, alone & sad.

My husband has been gone for 2 months. His name has started to be removed from accounts we had jointly. When my checks are finished only my name will appear. It's saddens me people are removed from society in this way. I suppose it's inevitable. anyway getting to this topic. I haven't used the word widow much. I know I am but it really doesn't have any meaning to me. I am single now. That's it.

Recently, my friend told me that I'm no longer a widow because I am dating someone. We looked up the definition. "A woman whose husband has passed away." I don't know what this person thought. The end of the conversation was "wow. You will always be a widow."
I don't hate the term but it still stings. I had dreams that I can no longer dream of us. I was 40 when he died. Kids still young. Interestingly, I was born with a widows peak. One thing about me that has changed since his death is I worry less. It doesn't help anything. But I still have the widows peak.