I packed Morey's things up and that was almost 3 years ago. Some stuff I threw out the day he died. He had old, old, old shoes, pants and shirts that he wore when painting the house or mending a fence and he'd forget that he had them on and meet me for dinner or come to the table in them. I'd look at him and he'd look down, not believing he had showered, cleaned himself up and put on the same old stuff!

Such a character. We'd both smile and laugh sometimes at the way he'd go out the door.

I was so mad at life in general, for taking such a dear soul and treating him so badly that I couldn't bear to look at his work clothes again.

Roz

I gave my husbands shirts, jeans and shoes to a men's shelter right after he passed. It felt like just "stuff" not him. His NY Yankees and Broncos jackets to the kids. He loved those all 14 of them. But I keep his ashes on my nightstand a foot from my head as I sleep. They are in the original box. It's only been 7 weeks, I have no idea what I will do with them. They may be there for a year or more. Those are mine, those are him. They comfort me.

Hey tee fuch,I take seans ashes out off the urn ,of course they are sealed well in a bag, but I sometimes lay them on his pillow, and pretend he is there. Isleep with his beanie, he passed away in. I take out his cologne and smell it atleast once a week. your not alone, nor should you feel funny or bad about keeping anything that brings you peace and comfort. much love and big hugs carla

Ron was a smoke and I am not, he did not smoke indoors, but shortly before he died it was just too cold for him to smoke outside being as ill as he was. I have not yet emptied the ashtry and clean around it on the table he was working his puzzle on. The puzzle is long gone, but I can't bring myself to empty the ashtray. I can tell I'm close, but I won't rush it.

My husband smoked but gave it up before getting diagnosed. After the cancer spread, he wanted a pack of cigarettes. I believe he forgot he didn't smoke anymore. I bought him a pack, because it didn't matter anymore. I saved one of his last cigarettes for years tucked away in a picture of him on the fridge. Talk about crazy, I bought a cigarette for a man dying from lung cancer.

Hi Fuchsiasky,

My Doug went forward alone four months and 18 days ago. He had lost a two and a half year battle with cancer. He was at home when he had to leave, (Hospice at home). When the funeral director came, he said he would wash the clothes he was wearing and return them to me. My daughter asked (thankfully) did I want his clothes washed and I did not. I sleep every night with his "Meteor Crater" T-shirt he had purchased when we went on his "bucket list" trip. Although I have moved to a different house, his toothbrush, deodorant etc are in the bathroom. When he received the terminal diagnosis, he started to smoke again, really didn't matter anymore. I have the half of a pack of the cigarettes and his lighter, in his dresser as if waiting for him to come in at any moment to get or use his things.

So to me, it is not strange.

Tommy loved junk food and never put on weight. I look at it and gain weight lol
On my dresser is Tommys little container with a mixture of different hard candies he liked. The other day, I picked it up and looked at my son and said this candy will grow green before I ever even think of throwing it out :)

I did a full load of my wife's laundry, folded the clothes, and I was about to put them in her dresser drawers when I realized the absurdity of it all. That was probably the first month when she passed. When I do my laundry I tend to leave the unfolded clothes on her side of the bed, and the weight of them being there when I go to sleep makes me feel better sometimes. I still keep her bathrobe and pajamas that she wore at the bench at the foot of our bed as she kept them the morning she passed. It will be 8 months in a few days, but I can't bring myself to go through her closet or drawers to move/remove her clothes.

My husband was well known for how great his cologne smelled. I will never be able to get rid of anything that still smells like him. I found a few shirts that still smelled alot. They are all rolled into balls to keep it in. I am sleeping with one. When that one is done, I will move on to the next. Many days I put a little bit of his cologne on my wrist so I can smell it through the day. I often wonder if anyone else smells it and wonders why I am wearing men's cologne. (I can hear it...."wow. she's really losing it" ha ha). Yup - lots of "weird" things, but I don't care. If it's what gets me through the day, so be it.

Today i woke up taking pictures of every corner of the house we lived in and every plant and tree he planted. The tools he used, anything he made of left his hand prints on. I'm at 5 months today. Spring was our cherish time. His garden gloves! Yes we do some very strange things, This was a form of love language between the 2 of us. I still have the last open can of beer he drank . So very much understand what you mean. Only us on this path understand the weirdness of it all. So glad we are here to blog about it . Many hugs to you.
meggyk

No Sharon, you're not crazy. I too bought my husband cigarettes and he was dying of lung disease.

I slept in his bathrobe for years - still do on cold nights. I've given most of his clothes away, but a few (the ones he died in) are hanging in the closet (5 1/2 years now). There are a couple of jackets in the downstairs coat closet and his winter hat and scarf too (which I wear sometimes).

When I gave away his good suits and good coat, I wrapped a coat of mine and some dresses to give away as well. I entwined the arms of the coats as if they were hugging. Silly? Yes, but who cares!

I also keep his comb, toothbrush, hankies (yes he used hankies), and mints he used to chew in a special treasure box. I often go in there and smell the comb - being plastic it still has his smell on it.

His eye glasses were kept on his desk, but I've since moved them into the top drawer of that desk. When I sit down to do the bills, I open the drawer and say "Hi sweetie" to his glasses.

Crazy? Yeah, I know.

My partner died two weeks ago after a lengthy illness. I was going through the medicine cabinet and found the cologne he used to wear..
I sprayed it around the house. But, it made me feel worse. What is making it worse is that I have to move so I have to go through all of his things. It sounds crazy but I am taking some of his clothes with me when i move. I am sad all of the time and trying to keep it together. I thought I was a strong woman but I feel like I am falling apart. I will be going to a support group through Hospice by the Sea, i hope it helps...

It is not crazy to keep items of their clothes...more people do it than most people think...I have the last clothes she wore to the hospital (she didn't come home) in a suitcase unwashed, so they retain her scent.
We do what we do...and we don't owe any apologies.

We only owe it to ourselves to do what makes us feel better...There is no judge and jury on our actions...I sometimes just sit and surround myself with his pictures and think of what my life was when he was here...oh how I miss him!!!

I do whatever it takes to get through the day. Half of my husband's clothes have been donated now to a worthy veteran's organization and a homeless shelter. A counselor said it would be easier to let go if I took a picture of the clothes in their closet as a remembrance. I was then able to slowly let go. Still have his hiking clothes since that was his passion and his cologne. He is always in my thoughts and heart.