While I know I shouldn`t, I feel a twinge of guilt every time I say things like " my children " but then I hate the looks on people `s faces when I say "our children" when they are aware that I am a widow. It`s a no win situation.

Yes, I have a problem still of thinking in the singular. It is very hard to acquire new habits.

I was thinking about that today, no longer a we just a me.
Hugs, Sandi

I guess this depends on what you are talking about. I certainly get the "our children" and our business and house, but it is my car and and my certain other things. I find I now say THE house, THE business.

Maggie

I remember, as a young woman, having a hard time referring to things as "ours" or "we". It was very much like getting used to the last name change. It required effort on my part. After my husband passed, changing we to me and ours to mine made my heart sink. It also required effort. I've found that now, when I refer to the past, I say "we" and "ours" my heart still sinks but at least it makes sense to me.

I struggle with this at first but I came to the realization that I'm going to use "we" and "our", etc. so I quit being self conscious about it. After all, we were "we" for a lot of years and they are still "our" kids. Capri's death changed a lot of things but it didn't erase the past we shared.

I also dislike before and after. It is hard to hear and use the terms that say we are now alone.

Oh yes! All the time. That and tenses. It catches me a lot. Glad I'm not the only one.

Thank you! I catch myself saying "we", "ours" and "the" mixed with I and my/mine, sometimes in the same sentence.

For those that have children it should be "our" children because that is what they are. Why would anyone think otherwise! No, we were not blessed with any children, due to complications we lost our son before birth and maybe that doesn't give me a right to comment on that part but that is how I see the children.

Everything we have has always been "ours" except our trucks. Your truck or my truck needs new tires, an oil change etc.

I am more comfortable with ours since it is/was we that made life "ours".

I loved being a we....hate being a me.

It is a terrible adjustment to go from a "we" to an "I" when in conversation. I still use "our", "his", or "we" did. Otherwise, I try to avoid using the "I" as much as possible. In my heart I am not an "I", but still a "we".