Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
OK, this one has left me dazed and confused...
I have been sleeping better since I got past our anniversary and consequently have been dreaming more. I woke up this morning from a really vivid dream about Diana. Unlike the other ones where it was just some random incident or pre-event this one was in the present where she knew she passed away.
We were in some small non descript house, not ours, cleaning up after dinner. I was washing dishes (I recall the sink was old and the faucet didnt work very well) and Diana was drying. There were some other folks in the background that I didnt recognize but Diana seemed to know them. I finished the last dish, ran the disposal, and put a piece of the dessert in an old fridge. She came over and hugged me You going to the doctor this week?. No, not this week I answered, maybe next. She said OK, well you should, I worry about you. I held her and gave her little kisses on the lips. I looked down, feeling sad and said, well, I have to go, you know...". She paused and said You going to look for a new wife?. I stood up straight and said NO, somewhat shocked. She looked me in the eye, searching, then she smiled and said its OK, you need to, and she kissed me. We just stood there in the kitchen holding each other trading little kisses.
I bolted up out of bed shaking my head and grabbed the nearest piece of paper to write it down while it was still so fresh in my mind. She looked so good, so content, and it started with us in our old routine, me washing and her drying. Every time she looked at me she would flash this beautiful smile, her lips were so soft...
It was great to experience her so vividly, but this whole "new wife" thing has left me unsettled, there is no replacement for "my better half" (and I mean that literally).
I have been sleeping better since I got past our anniversary and consequently have been dreaming more. I woke up this morning from a really vivid dream about Diana. Unlike the other ones where it was just some random incident or pre-event this one was in the present where she knew she passed away.
We were in some small non descript house, not ours, cleaning up after dinner. I was washing dishes (I recall the sink was old and the faucet didnt work very well) and Diana was drying. There were some other folks in the background that I didnt recognize but Diana seemed to know them. I finished the last dish, ran the disposal, and put a piece of the dessert in an old fridge. She came over and hugged me You going to the doctor this week?. No, not this week I answered, maybe next. She said OK, well you should, I worry about you. I held her and gave her little kisses on the lips. I looked down, feeling sad and said, well, I have to go, you know...". She paused and said You going to look for a new wife?. I stood up straight and said NO, somewhat shocked. She looked me in the eye, searching, then she smiled and said its OK, you need to, and she kissed me. We just stood there in the kitchen holding each other trading little kisses.
I bolted up out of bed shaking my head and grabbed the nearest piece of paper to write it down while it was still so fresh in my mind. She looked so good, so content, and it started with us in our old routine, me washing and her drying. Every time she looked at me she would flash this beautiful smile, her lips were so soft...
It was great to experience her so vividly, but this whole "new wife" thing has left me unsettled, there is no replacement for "my better half" (and I mean that literally).
I think our subconscious mind and our conscious mind are coming together in our dreams. I wish I could dream about my husband every night. I understand how much dreams feel good when they happen and hurt when we wake up.
No one will ever take the place of your wife. If ever anyone tries...they are not the right one to some day spend your days with..
hugs..
-Diana
Thanks for the clairy, I will file the other part in the "you never know where life will take you" folder.
This is what I love about this group, I now can appreciate the joy of the dream without being "unsettled".
Thank you all again.
While he was still with me, Craig told me repeatedly that I was still young, shouldn't be alone, should find another husband. I was shocked and upset at the time, but now I realize that he was being kind and selfless to give me permission so I wouldn't feel as guilty if this did happen.
So I wouldn't worry about that part meaning anything, just be so happy that you'd spent an evening with her lovingly.
And I'm glad that you're going to the doctor!
Hugs, Gail