My wife Lynn and I were married for 24 years.  She was older than me.  She died suddenly at 1:30 in the morning.  I know this because she had gotten a klondike bar from the freezer before she said goodnight to me as I had just gotten home from work and was going to watch  TV.  I went to wake her up the next morning and she was dead.  It must have happened fast because the klondike bar was melted all over her chest and neck.  A sad and tragic experience.  I had very little support from friends and family and was living in a rural town in the mountains.

 13 years later I have moved on with my life for the most part which I know is very important step in one's life when somthing like this occurs.  Basically I was starting all over again.  I was not scared just confused about what I should do in life.  After 13 years I'm doing well for the most part and have finally found a combination of drugs with a phychiatrist that is really helping me to cope and with other issues as well.  One problem that seems to stay in my memory is the fact that I'm afraid to let go of Lynn.  I know I will always think about her and I'm all right with that, but I'm feeling afraid of putting it behind me.  I feel like I would be letting her down.  I still lie awake at night and think about "what if".  Yes I move on to other thoughts but it still comes back to me and I feel sad and scared.  I hope I'm not sounding too dramatic?  The Psychedelic Furs song "The Ghost in you"  "The time moves, but she don't fade"  really hits home to me.

I would very much like to correspond with people who may have similar thoughts and feelings.  I would like to hear what your feeling and how you think you've coped with it.  Please I hope to hear from you.  Thank you and God bless.