Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
For the past five days, or should I say nights I have been unable to sleep. I have been agonizing over every little thing. I admit this overwhelming grief has gotten the best of me. I can't seem to form a positve thought, just such draining remorse about the past, the present, the unimaginable future without him. I don't think this is another wave, it's a full blown "TSUNAMI"! And of course if you can't sleep at night, you are drug out all day. Oh the ups and downs. I hate leaving the house, it's my comfort zone. But I hate being here as it's torture without him. All the undone crap and everyday stuff that used to be so easy is now impossible. My mind is shot, my heart is empty and I ache all over missing him. Why do we do this to ourselves? We have no control over anything! We would have given our lives for our spouses, but weren't given that choice. I am thrilled that there is a new support group for widows/ers starting tomorrow that I plan on attending. Now how pathetic is that? To be thrilled. I need to be around others in person that have walked this path or going through this. I can't stand to read anymore about grief on my own, it's too depressing and I can't concentrate. So I am open to the idea of seeing what others are doing to get through this. I have even shut myself off to talking on the phone except for very brief conversations with my kids. I know there is hope out there somewhere and I am determined to find it, to find a way to retrain this wicked brain of mine. I want to have a memory and not be so damn sad. I want to get through this and find Peace and acceptance and know that he will be proud of me when we are reunited. Oh how I miss him. Ok enough ranting, Hugs and Love to all and thank you for being here for me. You have no idea how grateful I am. Michele
It will be a year tomorrow for me and yes it has been in bearable grief much of the time. I can relate to everything you have said and have gone through it. I did go to a grief group ( 2 actually) but the 2 nd one was not a good fit for me. I still attend the 1st one and have made some really good supportive friends there who meet for coffee, check on me ( they don't think I know that's what they are doing when they text me) but they have literally saved my life along with this site. I can see huge changes in me at 1 yr but still have far to go. Never knew there was this deep a level of pain, sadness, loneliness and most of all emptiness. I didn't believe I would make it to a year, but here I am. Changed for sure, older, wiser, sadder, more serious, and far more compassionate. You too will survive. I had a dream that I was told I was to be a more enlightened and better version of me. I hope that for you as well. Hing in there. We are hear for you. Robyn
Have a good day everyone
Darcie
Without people you run the risk of severe depression, or even addiction. I know because I've done this for the past 20 years, and my pain is just as fresh as yesterday, and I keep falling back to addictions just not to feel anything.
Yea, I'm one of those people that don't like to show my emotions, especially hurt. I've tried at times, perhaps not with the right people, and my perception was that they couldn't care less. I'm a bit mixed up that way.
Anyway, try not to shut people out. Especially your children. I'm sure they hurt just as much too. Go out for morning walks, afternoon walks, and evening walks. Try to look for someone you can help to smile, and cheer their life up a bit. Make a memorial someplace around your house where you can go to be quiet, cry, or talk to your husband. I believe that as long as you have their memories with you still, their spirit is still very much alive, and that's the real part we know. It`s not the body. He will always be with you.
I wish you all the best, now go out and do something. James