My husband passed away about 35 days ago and he left me with a 9 year old girl, 7 year old girl, and a 5 year old boy (who turned 5 the day before daddy's funeral). It has been awful! Trying to be strong for them has kind of prevented me from grieving my loss. There is so much to do during the day that I hardly think about anything. I just go through the motions of life. It's when it's all quiet that myheart just breaks! For my kids, for me, for him. You will get through this and so will I. Because that is all that we can do.

Kids sense your sadness which is why maybe your daughter only wanted your mom. Don't feel bad about it, you will start to feel better in time and can give her all you have. It is hard to be there for your kids when you are so raw. The thing is you think you might be OK but you are really not. My husband left me with three teenage boys. I would cry at the drop of a dime, even when I was not even thinking about something at all. Since they were older it was easier to hide it from them but even then I still would break down in front of them at times. I was able to talk to them and they could understand the grief, this is much harder to do with a younger child.

Becoming a single parent no matter how old the kids are is a hard thing. There are always moments you wish your loved one was there. On Friday they had their first dance. The twins are 16 and I was so excited for them, to see them all dressed up. They had to wear a tie which I didn't know how to tie. All I kept thinking was if their father were here he would tie it. It sounded like a simple thing but even the simple things can turn your day upside down. I finally looked it up on youtube. Might not have been the best looking tie knot but it worked. You just have to figure your way through life but you are in the early stages and need to grieve. Let you mom help you when she can, it makes it easier. I didn't have any family near by when my husband died so I had no one to help or give me time to grieve. It made the first few months that much harder for me.