Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

This is not right!

Sonads
Sonads

    My husband was the love of my life!  He was my king and I was his queen.  We both worked with kids who have cancer and thought that we had life somewhat figured out.  2 years ago he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and fought so hard!  I mean really really hard.  But 35 days ago he lost his battle.  When the end came it came fast.  I did not get to hear him say I love you and I did not get to prepare him for what was to come. The feeling of his last heart beat still hunts me.  I feel like all day today I have not been able to catch my breath.  I am drawning in my sorrow since I am trying to be strong for our 3 very young kids.  I tell everyone I got this! but have not slept (really slept) in over 40 days.  Nothing about this feels tolarable.  I feel as if I am in a nightmare.

kay_rauz
kay_rauz
Oh lady **hugs** It's horrible and there are no wise words I can say to you to make it better. Just know that every day is different. Some days will be harder than others. But we will make it through. We have and are; since our loves have departed our side. I wish I could console you.
pahatfi
pahatfi
I didn't get to say goodbye to my husband either, we knew he was dying soon, but when he went it was so fast I missed the words I love you. your husband knew you loved him, just as mine did.
eric1971
eric1971
You said you did not get to hear him say "I love you", yet you know he did. Remember that, and think of all the good times.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that comes with it. Your topic "It's not right. ' is one we believe. There are small ways to try to help. I tried writing when I felt overly upset. I would tell him my feelings, my fears, and my love and missing him. It was a way to get the feelings out. I also had a picture of him hanging in our bedroom and would talk to it.
Grief is something you can't avoid. Going around grief isn't possible. We must go through it. Feel the pain. Take time to cry and be kind to yourself. I if you can get someone to spend a little time with the children you could just be still and let go.
I don't know what your beliefs are, and I understand being angry, but draw from them. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sharon