Oh I'm with you here. The very first time I had to go to the store without him, I stood there in the aisle, looking at zip lock bags and started crying. He liked the ones with the little zipper tab, I liked the other kind. Like you said, stupid. Stupid little things. But somehow, even though I wished a hole would open up in the floor and I could just disappear into it, somehow I finished my shopping trip and got through it. It's still only been four months for me, but I regularly go grocery shopping now and mostly I don't think much about it. (There are still things I can't bring myself to buy though. Some of "our" favorite things.)
I am praying for you to get through each moment of each day, each experience you have to now face without him, and in spite of it all, to find hope and a measure of peace as you make your way in this journey. It will get better. Love and hugs, Marcy

Jamie,

It does NOT sound silly at all, and if it is? then so am I!!!!!!

After I first lost Greg, going to the grocery store was beyond painful!1 We had changed everything about how we ate, what we shopped for, and I was always scouring the internet for new ways to make food that he could eat, and would also have some taste to it, as he was on a 700mg a DAY diet under 200 choleseterol, high protein but only a portion of it could be any meat so had to be plant based, and 4000 calories a DAY!!!!!! BUT, I LOVED doing it, and looked at it as saving BOTH of our lives!

After i lost him? I'd go to the store and as much as I tried to avoid going to certain places? Every aisle would make me cry!! What I disd that sounds even sillier to many, is to wear sunglasses IN the store!! People I know must have thought i was CRAZY, but they didn't see me cry and I could go and get things done and cry all the way home too!

HUGS of understanding and try the sunglasses when you do go. It does HELP!!

Lots of love, diane

Thank you ladies. I would wear sun glasses but I wear glasses already. It took me awhile before I would cooked but I did it. I have kids at home but it doesnt always help because I want to tell them to go eat what is ever in the frig.
I just really need him for everything. I cant think of anything I can do without even tho I have been but I just want him here.
Sorry for your losses Marcy and Diane. Thank for the help of I am not alone and the ideas.

Jaime, I hear you and feel your pain as it is all the little things that seem to be so excruciating painful right now. My husband did a lot of the grocery shopping or we went together. It was quite a while before I could go without breaking down when I would go by the things that he liked to eat or we bought just because of him. It was hard to make his favorite meals for the first time as he was not here to enjoy them.
You will go through so many of the little things that are gut-wrenching as they are not here to share it with, bounce questions off them, ask their advice or just plain having their presence.....
Wishing you and your family some peace in the days ahead....hugs

When Charlie was waiting for his lung transplant I had do everything I could to get him to eat. Bad lungs expand and push down on the stomach so they always feel full. He was down to 127 lbs.. If he went any lower, they woould not do the transplant. Every trip to the groceery store was just to find something he might like.

Even after his transplant when his appetite was starting to come back It was still slways about what he might like. He loved it when I made him chocolate chip cookies.(the last I ever made him are still in the freezer and will stay thre forever). Popcorn made him happy. (the popper will stay on the shelf).There was a special kind of bottles ice tea with lemon that was hard to find. He loved to fish. We had just spent several days going from store to store to find the perfect frypan for them. (the last fish he caught are in the freezer).

Now when I go shopping, I spend forever wandering the aisles, crying and avoiding everything he liked. Of course, the hard to find tea is always available now. The other day I really needed groceries and I left the store with four items.

He ususally just waited in the car for me. Sometimes I felt rushed with my shopping. Well, now I can take all the time in the world, but I don't want it.

Thank God, I don't have to cook for any one but me - so I just don't.

I know that isn't an option for you Jaime with the kids so I'll just pray you find the strength.

Julie

OMG Jamie, we so understand. I remember breaking down in front of the Bob Evans frozen breakfast food. I would buy them for my husband all the time. Then the first time I had to go to Home Depot I broke down after I left the store. Same thing with Target and Lowes. I am better now but I still think of my husband when I am in the stores.

It does get better with time.
Hugs, Leanette

Four years later I still have two and three of everything because he was the person that remembered what we already have!

Nothing you are saying sounds silly. I used to go grocery shopping with my wife, it was like an adventure together. Now it is so hard for me to go, i usually have to send one of my sons because i get so depressed walking around the store by myself. This is so painful, i don't know how people adapt, i am almost at ten months and feel like i have not adapted at all. We used to do everything together, now everything is so painful that i would rather do nothing. So no, you are not being silly, we hurt so badly because we loved so much. I hope you manage to get through you shopping without too much pain. God Bless, Sal.

After the numbness wore off...about month 3, I totally lost it over the pork chops. My husband and I always shopped together. I went to pick up a package of 4 pork chops and realized that for the first time, I would only need a package of one or two. There were no packages of one or two, but the realization hit me like a flood. Plus stores have music and songs make you cry every time early on. So I went 15 monutes away to a store out of town for the next 6 months until I could finally bare going into "our" store....
So...no explanations needed here. It is the little things that cause the biggest tsunami's early on.

hugs...
-Diana

Everybody seems to have the same kind of story. Grocery shopping for me was close to being the hardest thing for me. Bill did the shopping and he enjoyed. He was retired so he knew all the checkers and people at the store. After he died, it took me many months even to enter the store where we used to shop. I went all over town to different stores and the whole process made me so sad. I finally went into our regular store and it actually made me feel better to see the people and listen to their kind words about Bill. I'm at almost 9 months now and it's gotten easier. But it will never be the same ...

Greetings Jamie:

You are in no way being silly, whatsoever! I cannot even go shopping since this major change happened. If a friend of mine would not pop in from time to time to shop, there would be no food here at all.

Seriously speaking, I opened the refrigerator to get a glass of cold water, and I finally was able to realize just how barren everything has become, including no food in the refrigerator, freezer or on the shelves. I do not have much of an appetite anyway, and have lost a considerable amount of weight since my beloved wife passed on. If she were here, she would be appalled.

My beloved wife would always prepare a weekly menu and grocery list. She would get my help with the grocery list. She liked making sure that the foods items she would purchase included my favorites foods. She would always ask me if I would like a certain new healthy recipe that she had discovered for us, while searching the WEB for recipe ideas that would be tasty and nutritious.

She also enjoyed finding bargains for us. She would always save money every week while shopping for us. This was one of the many precious gifts she brought to our marriage, in how she demonstrated love toward me in this way.

I know I will not adjust to this major change in a quick manner, if at all. It is far too troubling within my heart and soul to just perk up and spring backAND off I go down the road happily shopping. No, instead I plan to methodically and quite slowly take all of these traumatic changes in small portions. The pain is debilitating if I do not.

I always knew my beloved wife was emotionally stronger than I am. I always knew my beloved wife was far stronger on an emotional level than I will ever be. I would tell her this often during our marriage. AND now this is true, Mr. strong man that is hard-wired toward being intellectual, cant even get himself out into the world to shop at Wal-Mart. Imagine that, aye!

My beloved wife would always conclude that since it is not good that man should be alone, I was feeling exactly what she believed I would, without her by my side. I am failing terribly at being alone, without her by my side.

I wish I had encouraging words to offer. All I can say is you are farther down the road than I can ever imagine myself being. I admire the courage you have demonstrated. AND---it sounds like you are yet another woman that is remarkably strong amidst this horrible change, AND raising the children also. Wow, just wow!

(((HUGS)))

Genuinely,
BEAR

Ok guys I couldnt do my big shopping trip just got a few things to get us by. So I am a big woose. I hear what evry one is saying most of all what Bear is saying because that is what I would do every sunday .It would take me 3 or 5 hours but I would save about 100 dollars and I just can bring myself to do that anymore . Chris would hand me 200 dollars a week for 5 people ,2 dogs, and 5 cats . I would find away to make it all work for shampoo ,laundry soap, and gorcey shopping and it worked how I am not really sure but it did. I really , really miss my Chris with all my heart. So crazy that I cant do gorcey shopping with out him. Thank you for letting me vent. Big hugs Jaime

It has take 9 months for me to stop blubbering my way through the grocery store. I even moved around to different stores - I was making such a scene I wanted to have some time pass before I went back to the same place. It's really okay to just feel what you feel.

OMG so typical .....

I could not go to Costco for months (his favorite store) and I started by shopping places to avoid those we frequented for awhile. Was just too painful.

Eating now is something else..

Wow, i thought I was the only one who had a problem with the grocery store!
It's been 3 months for me. My husband did most of the shopping since he loved to cook. We would go together often, and he always made it fun. Now I feel like i'll just go crazy or cry all the while if I go at all. I thought it was weird, but now seeing all of these posts and hearing all of your stories, I feel so much better about the fact that i'm not ok with this.
Thank you all. thank you Jaime
Julie