It is so true. We can never have the one thing that would make everything all right.

I used to have sign in my sewing room that said "All I want is a little more than I'll ever get". I was being flipant when I put it there - you know, diamonds, travel, a new house, Little did i know what it would mean sometime when it really counted.

I would trade everthing I own for one more day with Charlie.

Julie

I'm with you on this. In the one year of my bereft life that has passed. I have bought a house, sold a house, moved into the new house. So what? It was a huge task, and one that took a lot out of me physically, mentally, emotionally. In this alone year, I have reconnected with my religion and church community. So what?
I have gotten rid of a lot of useless stuff and cleaned house. So what?
Nothing feels the same, nothing means anything. If i could just go back and do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat. We were a happy pair, a team, a package. He was the best and I miss him every single day.
Gloria

I'm so sorry for your pain. I truly understand how you feel. Everything is OK in life (I have shelter and food) but my joy is gone. I'm busy but nothing means anything. My family is fighting and I feel alone. I am just surviving but am thankful for my shelter and food. I wonder what it would be like to be loved again. Don't think I'll ever know. Just waiting on my reunion.

Nicoola,

My heart and prayers are with you Nicola. You have come a long way in 14 months. I said to my one friend, the new furniture, redoing living room, redoing computer room, getting new bathroom floor, buying new things, "it is just stuff", it doe not take away the loss of not having Home with me. It is still empty and lonely here. Our love will always be within our hearts for our spouses. There is not a day that goes by without our thoughts of them.

Hope Thom is feeling better. Give him big, big hugs for me.

My prayers are with you both.
((((Hugs & Kisses))))
recentwidow

My problem is that Wayne was the only person in the world, that I completely trusted. I do not trust anyone, don't think I ever will. Looks like a lonely life ahead.

Peace to you
Dually

I so hear the pain in your words. Ric may not be here in the physical sense but he is with you and your son always. He has helped carry you through all of your accomplishments. The pain does lessen and smiles return slowly. We will ALWAYS carry our beloved with us and NEVER be without them.
Hugs
Brenda

I am at 17 months and I seem to be a lot like you. I have a good job with good retirement and benefits, I have a house that we built, and some money in the bank. I'm comfortable in my life. It's just I have no one to share that comfort with. I think the reason I'm able to save money is because I don't do anything. I get up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. On the weekends, I don't leave the house usually. I'm not unhappy, but I'm not happy either. I think I'm content though. My pain is not as intense, but it doesn't take much to get me to crying. In fact, I am as I write this.

Brian always kept us running especially on the weekends. He hated to stay at home even if we only had $5 in the bank, he would want to do something. I usually followed right along because I knew I could be a hermit if given the chance. I'm grateful for my job or I probably would only come out when I needed food.

I'm grateful that we have all those here at DS who understand when no one else does.

Nessie from KY

Hi, I relate so much to your message. Before my wife became gravely ill we were both blessed with successes and gifts in our lives, a wonderful granddaughter, we traveled to many places, made improvements to our home, and each took up personal hobbies for ourselves to enrich our lives. Her becoming ill changed all of that and it was difficult to accept that we could no longer share and experience our lives together. And then with her pasing it was even more of a shock. If felt that why try to keep my home going if my wife is not there to share it with me and I cannot give that to her anymore. I agree that I can seem cruel and unfair that this has to happen but we can gain some comfort that we did share wonderful things with our spouse, raised a family, was part of successes and challenges in life.
God Bless You

Nicola, you are so right, this life is not fair nor predictable. As things happen in our lives, we grow and adapt to the circumstances. You have done a remarkable job of creating a new life for you and Thom. Ric is not far away, for his love for you and Thom remains and will always be there to guide you and protect you. In time, you will find a certain level of comfort and peace, be patient we will all get there. Hugs! Connie

You feelings of sadness and loss is real. I lost myhusband to lung cancer in 2007 and there are times that sadness falls over me still. The only difference with me now and where you are is I've been down this path longer and can recognize the signs of up comming clouds. I've developed a way of being sad and happy at the same time. A friend on DS once described it as living with two hearts. I can't describe it better than that. Sharon

I just found this website and wanted to connect with young widowers. I lost my husband 8 months ago and miss him everyday. I have had to relocate and I am going back to school so I am excited about that. I have a beautiful 10 year old that keeps me going everyday.

I came home crying today because it hit me that my husband is gone. I saw your post and it was so real to me because life without him is so much less than it was with him.

It is amazing sometimes the depths of despair and sadness that can overwhelm me as I fully realize Stan is not coming back----I know he isn't, It's not like I am in denial but sometimes the "knowing" is so much deeper than other times clear to the center of my being, if that makes any sense. I do know that I carry the best of him and "us" in my heart. I know I am making progress in navigating this life----it is a long and treacherous journey, but I firmly believe I will make a good life for myself----but that doesn't mean I won't miss and love my husband. I will learn how to incorporate all that was our life into this one.
Nicola, you are making a life for you and your sweet son----hard as it is----I feel Ric is so proud of you.
Hugs,
Sallie

I have been here almost 6 mos. and even though I have more good than bad days, it takes nothing to make me cry. Just the mention of my Lee's name can make the tears flow. Although at this stage I have no idea what my future will bring, I hope to survive and eventually thrive. I want to make the love of my life proud and honor his life by going on. I have a long road ahead I know, but I am doing as much "grief work" as I can. How I miss my love.

It will never be fair - that's what I have had to accept - it will never be fair that they are gone way too soon. We had so many plans and were on the cusp of achieving so many of them. It is so painful, and I understand how you are feeling. I carry Cliff as part of me, and he will always be around partly in our kids, too, and for that I am thankful. It's hard not having that icing on the cake...

Sending you Love and Hugs, Martha