It has been 5 years for me and I have to say that though I am okay and life is okay I feel this way too. I keep hoping and praying this is not so and something will come along and change that feeling. But I am thankful for having had that good life as some never do. I will get up every day and be as good as I can be and keep hoping it brings me more joy than the day before as I have no other choice. Hugs!!!

Niker
You said exactly how I feel

I agree again too. I never felt like playing house as much as I did with my Frank. I used to love to just be with him. No matter what it was, would just love being with him.........it was so 'home' being with him...a real soul mate.....He had the 'death sentence' but we were positive and his health had defied the odds for so long....we were started to feel indispensible...(excuse spelling's "((( ) So, it is very strange not to have him here.....I remember when we were so full of life...the connection we had...right up until two days before he passed...the mental connection and the spiritual was fierce strong...we were in tune in that way....lots of proper worldly and important discussions didn't take place ...out of fear....but we were in tune with eachother on so many other levels xoxox miss u frankie xoxoox

It's been over four years, and I still hurt like hell most days. But there are also good ones, and every day that I get things accomplished are good ones.
I had recently been starting to fear that I couldn't see the rest of my life, and that it meant I was just going to spend it waiting for the end.
THAT is when I turned a new corner and - still in pain but refusing to accept that option as the rest of my life, I'm making new plans, and - yippee! - even acting on them. I have a pretty good idea now of what I want the rest of my life to look like, and I know that no one is going to make it look like that but me.
So I may have to keep hurting, but there's NO WAY I'm going to sit down and wait to die.
I'll get through the bad days, cherish the good ones, keep at my plans even if it's in baby steps, BREATHE...and LIVE the rest of my life as happily as I possibly can.
So many people never had the joy, the blessing, that was our love.
I remember that when things get really hard, and it helps. I had it. We loved each other so. Nothing can ever undo that. I am blessed.

DRO2007, you said it exactly as I feel. Thank you for verbalizing it!