I think we all feel this way, i know I do. What you are feeling is normal, we lost the most important people in our lives, how could we feel otherwise. I find solace in knowing that I will be with my beautiful wife again someday. Until then we must endure and make the best of the time we have left here. Keep the faith, no one knows what the new day will bring. God has a way of making things right in the end.

God Bless, Sal

I feel the same way, although its only been a few months. Life is an empty hole for me and it feels like I'll be in this quagmire for quite some time. It's perfectly normal for us to feel this way when we've lost someone so special and loved so deeply.

The best of life with your husband is over (a fact that can't be denied), but you have the best of life in another type of future to nurture and embraceyes, different but dotted with its own particular lessons and blessings. That's a reality that none of us wants to contemplate because our comfort and understanding of a warm and secure love has slipped from our grasp. The learning curve regarding happiness after loss is extremely long and grueling, but we survivors are a hearty bunch. Blessings to you as you hang tough on this bumpy road. Don't give up. TJ

I think the idea of being normal in the normal world is really foreign to me. Oddly I feel closer to my DS friends than most people in the "real" world. I can't wait until the Vegas trip when I hope to turn virtual friends into REAL FRIENDS.
Hugs,
Vicki

I agree with Sal,the only thing that keeps me going is that I know I will be with him (Pat) again,I know I have to make the best of what life I have now but sometimes its hard

I think it's a half full , or half empty perception.

. I am thankful for the life I had with Jerry, and realize that many people have never experienced the happiness that I had.

We will never have this day again, so I tried to make it the best. I will never be as young as I am now, so I embrace my true age. I am looking forward to my future, with no comparisons.

I felt also that I lost my very life, my hopes and dreams , when Jerry died, my first post on DS talked about feeling that I was maybe the one who died, because i felt ao isolated and alone. but I will continue to dream that tomorrow will be beter than today. It's three years for me too, and I am sad everyday, but I want to believe that my glass is half full - a little chipped mind you, but I can still hold my water -- oh my, I didn't mean it that way, but I'm thankful to G-d for that too!!

I know for me, after i first lost Greg i thought my life WAS over, and couldn't get how I could even go on without him.

the only thing that has helped me and still does is faith in the love we shared. that it means something. Faith in the children that are "almost' adults now, that they will grow to be wonderful legacies of what we created. That we were very much 'meant to be' in the grand plan of life.

Faith in love, being stronger than anything else, and just plain hope. Hope that Greg was one of the very BEST chapters in my life,no THE BEST, but that there are more chapters to this life, and if I hope then somehow I'll begin to write them, and have something wonderful to share when it's my turn to see all those I love again.

No fancy formulas, just HOPE. It's the only thing I know that's stronger than looking back. honoring the past and looking forward with HOPE.

HUGS and I am so sorry for your pain. Diane

I too am at three years and every night when I go to bed I tell myself one more day towards being with him. It helps. Hugs, Chris

Yes, one more day towards being with Him and them our loved ones!!! I look at it like that...my friends who are mostly older tell me that time does speed by....I am just going to try to keep doing positive things of be useful.....He has got to wait for me or I will crack up...

I am 17 months into the loss of my best friend and husband of 19 years Carl and echo all what I have read here. While I do smile more now than I did...say...a year ago....(largely due to a job that is interesting)...I consistently come back to realization that there's nobody that I want to be with the way I enjoyed him. So it is a waiting game. YET....I also believe that if Carl (in his spirit form) could speak he would be telling me "LIVE. Go find reasons to LAUGH. LEARN." As of yet I am not heeding that advice but I let it linger....maybe someday I'll be able to follow it. Hugs to all. -sue

At 21 months I say "NOW what - I had my life figured out until I was very old - I mean late 80 old" Two of us together, fighting whatever, loving whatever, living whatever....SO now my whole identity in life and goals etc are what??? That I guess defines life being what? Over and exist only --- I simply pray GOD does have something still good in store for me -- but now right now I am lonely and sad.
I am ok and not gut wrenching horrible but just OK
HOW is that ok? I wish GOD would come down and make it more than that and show me what I am supposed to do next?

And I agree they want us to live - enjoy - laugh but darn there is no guidelines we learned in life steps to do that when this happens...
DO we wait until the end to have things made right?
There is not much else I can say on the subject but prayers we see the light and sunshine happiness

Well said Nicker07. Ditto. Hugs.

I am in about the same place as you are.
You have no idea what will happen tomorrow! The best married years might be over but dont you think there might be different years to come?
Learning, and growing, and getting out of your comfort zone and volunteering, and good friends and family years? It is up to you how well you live the rest of your life!... G-

Yes, Nicker, I feel my life is in the past. It's hard to laugh when you're all alone most days of the week. It'll never be as happy as it was because we don't ever "get over" losing the most important person in our lives. We just learn to live with it. Like losing an arm or a leg. You can still get around and do things, but nothing like before.

Nicker it is like you climbed into my head! This os so how I feel.