Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
So once again I’m being a weirdo.. I have been spraying my husband’s pillow with his cologne so I can still smell him when I sleep.. Just a few minutes ago, a family member came by for a visit and smelled his colonge in the room. The conversation, although short, went as follows...
Her: What’s that smell?
Me: Terry’s cologne.
Her: Are you wearing it?
Me: No, it’s on his pillow.
Her: You haven’t washed his pillow case since he died??
Me: No. In fact I’m never washing the sheets or pillow cases.
Her: You’re kidding, right?
Me: Yes, I just like spraying his cologne on the pillow case because it helps me sleep sometimes...
Her: You need help.. You need to learn to let go..
Me: Thank you for the advice.. you need to learn how to find the door and leave.
End of discussion. Don’t tell me how to manage my grief. I may do some weird shit but It’s how I cope.
I loved reading your posts. It’s been a little over a year since my husband Gene passed and I still miss him. I don’t ache as bad as in the beginning. But occasionally I also spray one of his colognes on his pillow. It’s such a comforting feeling. I’m so glad you are all here, it is a big help coping with everything. I keep telling myself, one foot in front of the other and keep moving. At least that’s how it’s worked so far with me.
Hugs to you all.
K