Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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npc4204 08/27/2014

I had an appointment with my primary care doctor this morning.
He was also my husband's doctor. He was so wonderful during my husband's lengthy hospitalization, very caring, very concerned.
He even came to our home when my husband came home on hospice.

My husband passed 7 weeks ago today, so I was very "weepy" during the appointment.
He spent an hour just talking to me. How many doctors do that?

He said when God closes a door, he opens a window.

He said right now I'm in a room with the door and window closed, as I am in a dark place, which is grieving.

He said I have to take all the hopes and dreams that I had with Norb and all the memories of our marriage, and put them in my heart.
Then you imagine a fireplace in your heart.
The fire burns and it will light the room, and a window will open.

It may take a long time, that is bereavement.
But you must believe that you will go forward and you will see light again.

Hoping and praying for the light to shine for all of us.

xo

cliffskat 08/27/2014

Wow! I haven't had a physician like that in years!! What a treasure - a true healer - not like some of them nowadays. Nice image he gave you,too. Thanks for sharing!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

gerald222 08/27/2014

Wonderful to know there are doctors like that still out there. We always hear about the bad but true humanity can be found in alot of different places. I am glad you have someone so compassionate to help you on this difficult road and what he said showed alot of wisdom. God bless.

Ozzielass 08/27/2014

That is so beautiful, I will try it as it is 12 weeks today since my Stephen left us. Peace to your heart my friend. Val

wendywillow 08/27/2014

What a very special person your doctor is. How wonderful to take the time he did. Love the analogy too.
Sending hugs.

hgsdms 08/27/2014

You are so fortunate to have such a caring doctor. May we all find peace in his message.

michaelbmanning 08/27/2014

I must say your doctor has covered all the bases in the healing department. I have found that there are doctors like that in rural communities where they are not so pressured to build that patient list.

Maggie

mel40 08/27/2014

What a wonderful post!

praised 08/27/2014

He is a rarity. We went to two hospitals, the first one because of an oncologist who was on another planet. And at both we always left discouraged. They was always so distant and came across as unfeeling. You are so blessed to have had someone who cared. Wish he could bottled that and sell it to some of these robots they call Doctors.

deleted_user 08/27/2014

I love what your doc said about closing a door and opening a window. My husband was so lucky to have had a doctor like that, The doctor had given us his cell number and said if we ever needed him to call us and he would meet us at the ER. He was kind and compassionate. He held me the day my husband died and cried with me. Thank you for sharing with us. Hugs, Colleen

Sara59 08/27/2014

I had a doc like that too back in the '70s. Glad to hear there are still some like that around.

Nancy215 08/27/2014

Thank you for sharing your doctor's kind words. His words give all of us here hope...that our lives won't always be so bleak.
Wishing comfort and peace to all

Shrn 08/27/2014

My doctor was the same with me and had me return often to check on my progress. There are many good ones practicing today. Take the time to find one for you. Sharon

deleted_user 08/27/2014

Just so special!

pdxdogma 08/28/2014

What a beautiful message...so glad you have a kind and caring doctor...we need more like him. Healers of the soul as well as the body...they are so connected after all. I hope you don't mind if I borrow the image your doctor shared with you...I'm just a couple of weeks ahead of you on this unwelcome journey. I hope today is a better day for you.

Sending hugs your way,
CJ

Beka92 08/28/2014

So thankful we have good caring Doctors and this is at a large city hospital. They did all they could for my husband and when it was not enough they cried with me. A few months after my husband died I went for my eye check up. The Dr. asked about my family and I told him of my loss. I asked about his family. With tears in his eyes he told me his 42 yr old sister died of cancer the week before. She had small children.
He suggested a book on grief he was reading. We shed tears together and he hugged me when i left.

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