Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Well, I am officially a "senior" (as of yesterday.) So I set aside some time, asked myself some questions and answered them the best way I
could--
How I would answer someone who asks if I am married? I am widowed. Period. Not single. Of course after 15 months I cant feel married in the way I was, but single isn't just a status, it is an identity, how you think and feel and approach life.
What is my identity? A grieving husband who has lost his wife. Pretty much feeling my way along on the rest of it.
Where am I going? Not quite just going through the motions, but still very much feeling my way along.
My purpose for living? Being a father and grandfather and keeping the home going (lots of family still here), and trying to help those I meet who are hurting, to heal.
My comfort--family and friends, my memories and our music, and Scripture.
My hope--summed up by what a loved one said to me--Each day is one day closer to being with her again. And that I will in some way do the work the Lord has left me to do.
My dreams. Gone with my beloved wife.
My future. In God's hands, I trust Him to lead me.
could--
How I would answer someone who asks if I am married? I am widowed. Period. Not single. Of course after 15 months I cant feel married in the way I was, but single isn't just a status, it is an identity, how you think and feel and approach life.
What is my identity? A grieving husband who has lost his wife. Pretty much feeling my way along on the rest of it.
Where am I going? Not quite just going through the motions, but still very much feeling my way along.
My purpose for living? Being a father and grandfather and keeping the home going (lots of family still here), and trying to help those I meet who are hurting, to heal.
My comfort--family and friends, my memories and our music, and Scripture.
My hope--summed up by what a loved one said to me--Each day is one day closer to being with her again. And that I will in some way do the work the Lord has left me to do.
My dreams. Gone with my beloved wife.
My future. In God's hands, I trust Him to lead me.
It will be a work in progress to define yourself. I feel my response will be to answer these questions about who I am and hope others do the same.
I am a widow and I am single. This is a huge change from what I would have said the first year when I felt married, but my husband died.
What is my identy? I am an honest caring woman who gains pleasure by helping others. I strive to see the good in others and learn from my mistakes. I love the Lord and try to emulate his example with humility and understanding.
Where am I going...actively living my idenity and striving to be in the moment.
My purpose..to spread any joy to others which inturn brings me peace and joy
My comfort is my Lord. My failing is to remember that.
My hope is to be remembered.
My dream is to be reunited with my family who have passed over. To live life to the fullest.
To find peace within myself and share it with those who's path I cross.
And to cause no harm or pain.
My future is in God's hands, but I will listen and act in ways that let me hear His quiet beckonning and follow His will.
Sharon
I will hit the two year mark on New Year's Day 2013--it feels like yesterday in some ways and then in others it feels so very long. I still listen to his CD's--hearing his voice singing the beautiful gospel music he loved is priceless to me--hearing our voices together is bittersweet--but I can close my eyes and feel him close when I listen. It is true--our hopes and dreams seem to fade and disappear when they leave us--because the hopes and dreams we had together can never be--and that's a hard pill to swallow. I thought we would grow old together--be that little old couple walking through the mall hand in hand--it's hard to think that will never be. Forty years wasn't long enough. I miss him so very much. But as you say, our future is in God's hands--and every day we live and make it through--is one day closer to being with them again. In the meantime we keep living and searching for what purpose God still has for us here on this earth. I can only hope that I will understand that purpose at some point--that it will somehow make some sense to me at some point--and that I will recognize it when it shows up. Trust is indeed what we have to have--trust that He's in control and it will all work out in the long run.
Warm hugs
Wanda
I am a widow. My husband died but I never lost him. He will be with me for the rest of my life, and I'm very happy about that.
What is my identity? I'm a person who lives alone but who has some of the best friends in the universe. They are there for me in a nanosecond, at any hour of the day or night. (You all know that I'm talking about you all here on DS, of course.)
Where am I going? To the same place all other human beings are going: to infinity and beyond.
My purpose for living? To share my experience regarding grief with all others who are about to go or are going through it; and to be the best human being I can be.
My comfort? Memories of my husband and all of my friends on DS.who have held me up when I felt I could no longer go on and have encouraged me to be and become "me."
My hope? That I will understand the reason as to why I was born onto this Earth and, once I do know why, that I fulfill that reason to the best of my ability.
My dreams? That the future "me" is an even better version of the "old" me.
My future? To give myself entirely to God, the Universe, a Higher Power - whatever his/her/its name - and fulfill whatever my destiny.
Hugs to all,
Terry