Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This evening thought to myself, "well, one more weekend done." Then it occurred to me what did I mean by that? It felt like I was crossing off days, waiting. Waiting for what? As a child I would cross off days till Christmas, for birthdays, the first or last day of school. Later I would cross off days till a big date, or the weekend.
What am I crossing off days for now. I am retired, so weekends are no longer anticipated. There isn't any important dates in my future. Still I feel like I am just passing time, waiting. Maybe subconsciously I'm waiting for my Big Swede to come home. Maybe I'm waiting to join him. Waiting for the pain to subside. Waiting to find a focus. I feel I am waiting for something, something big. Maybe a reason to wake up each day. I don't know. Thank you for letting me ramble. Hugs ~ Bailey ~
What am I crossing off days for now. I am retired, so weekends are no longer anticipated. There isn't any important dates in my future. Still I feel like I am just passing time, waiting. Maybe subconsciously I'm waiting for my Big Swede to come home. Maybe I'm waiting to join him. Waiting for the pain to subside. Waiting to find a focus. I feel I am waiting for something, something big. Maybe a reason to wake up each day. I don't know. Thank you for letting me ramble. Hugs ~ Bailey ~
My mother waited after my father died. Momma basically did nothing, waiting to die and join Daddy. She waited almost 14 years. It was a terrible waste. I vowed I wouldn't do that if I became a widow.
I may not be successful at everything I try to do, but I am still trying to live my life as fully as I can, which I know is what Cliff wanted me to do if he went first. We talked about these things after the loss of each of our parents - all 4 were gone before Cliff - so I do know what his wishes were.
Finding our reason, our purpose is a tough one. It may not be one single, big, all-encompassing thing - it might be a jigsaw puzzle of lots of small things. That seems to be the way my life is turning out anyway. You will probably have to get out there and look for it. It's probably not just going to land in your lap. I think you have made huge progress with braving the lunch club and all of that, so I think you will make it and you will find your way through this. It just may surprise you where things will lead you - in a good way.
Love and Hugs,
Martha