Hi George. I don't know if your lack of appetite is normal or not. My appetite increased after my husband died. I think this is because I was a nervous wreck the last weeks of his life because he was so confused and unsteady that I was afraid he would get up to use the bathroom and fall and break a hip (the cancer had spread to his hip bone, so this was a very real possibility.). After he died I could actually relax. All of our experiences are different, I guess.

But I am really concerned about you. You are not eating and it sounds like you are smoking and drinking heavily, as well as not exercising. All of his, combined with grief, puts your health at great risk. I really don't know what to suggest but maybe you should go to your doctor for a checkup. I think that's probably a good idea for all newly bereaved people, anyway. I know I thought my fatigue was due to grief but my doctor found out it was actually my thyroid and gave me medicine and I am feeling better now. You never know. Maybe your doctor can help you. Grief is so hard on the mind and body that it really is more important now than ever to take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers.

Sylvia

My 2c. It doesn't matter if it is normal to other people. You know that it is not normal to you. Going through grief is tough enough even with a healthy body and good living habits, but you surely won't feel well if you don't take care of yourself.

I don't smoke or drink, but have had no appetite since husband died. I have to force myself to eat. It is just as bad on my best emotional days, as bad days.
He died suddenly over 1 yr & 8 months ago.
I had a severe medical condition for the first 1 & 1/2 year, and I absolutely Had To eat small portions several times a day or would drop to critical hypoglycemia. The cause was surgically removed. Now, lacking health dangers, eating is just by discipline.
My weight loss has not been too much, though. I needed to lose some before he died, and was always on the thin side when younger. So this is more confusing to me, than a health worry.
I thought it was normal in early stages of grief. Not this long.
If you could try to drink & smoke a lot less, that may help appetite.
For exercise, perhaps trying something that requires less internal force & drive at first, such as walking outdoors.
I am sorry for the pain of your loss.
Blessings to you.
Barb.
I h

Sorry: typo error at end of my previous post.

The only reason i eat is because of my stomach growling. There's this Rule Can live for 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water and 3 months without food.Am going to try and drink more water it may help

George, the smoking and coffee are appetite suppressants. They are working against you. You need to cut back on both. Lack of appetite is normal, but it usually comes back. The smoking and coffee though will make you not want to eat, and on top of that they really are not great for you. I relapsed and smoked after Cliff died, too. I lived on coffee and cigarettes at times. They will also make it harder for you to get through this. I won't go in to all the technical medical stuff, you're a bright guy and you can talk to your doctor about it, but like Rain said, you know it's not normal for you.

Try cutting back and replacing these things with something healthy. Drink some water, go for a walk, listen to some music and dance, these were all things that helped me. Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Aftermy husband died I ate everything that wasn't healthy and gained weight. Thankfully I broke that cycle and lost the weight I had gained. I saw my doctor every few months and he told me that I would get back to a normal eating cycle. I was too upset about food and eating alone was unbearable so I eat finger foods. 4 months isn't that long, but try a sandwich or half of one. Anything that you are trying. Sharon

My husband passed away 6 weeks ago and have been in a downward spiral since. When my husband started having health issues earlier this year I have gained weight because I too was eating everything that is not healthy for me. I realize that I need to take care of myself becaue I have my children and family that I need to stick around for. I know that I have to make changes in order for me to move.

I hope that you have family that can help you and we are always here to encourage you. Please take everyone's advise and speak with your doctor. My yourself a priority now.