I am new to this support group but I am reaching out for something that can provide some comfort for this unbearable grief I am feeling. My beautiful wife of 20 years died 118 days ago. She had been an athlete all of her life and up until the last six months of her life was a vibrant healthy 48 year old woman. She was having fainting spells and was seeing our doctor to try and figure out what was going on with her. One night getting out of the bathtub she fainted and fell on a small trash can breaking her ribs. She had a seizure and I called 911. The last think she said was "I don't feel good". She died the next morning from internal bleeding. We still don't know what was causing her fainting spells. I am 56 and never thought I would out live her. It is somewhat comforting to know I am not the only one who is suffering through this horrific time in my life. I am so sorry for the loss everyone here is experiencing but as many of you have said no one knows this kind of pain until you have walked in our shoes. I write this with tears in my eyes knowing I will never see her again on this earth. But I am hoping, God willing that I will see her again in a better place. I will need to lead a life that would honor her memory and I know she would not want me to suffer as I am but that is beyond my control.
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