A girlfriend of mine recently told me she was seeing a therapist to cope with the sudden loss of a life long friend of hers who died suddenly at the age of 46. SHe suggested that maybe that would help me as well. I am no stranger to therapy and have been in and out for many years thruout my lifetime. I have not been in several years. And although I have no objections to therapy,(it helped me tremendously), I have reservations on weather or not I really need to go. You can find my posts here but basically my x boyfriend passed away from colon cancer in October of last year. He was my best friend and we knew each other for 12 years. We went thru many tough times together. He was an alcoholic and had been in prison for 3rd DWI in three years for 14 months. When he came home he was diagnosed with colon cancer. After his surgery and then his reversal surgery he had a blockage and when they operated his colon ruptured. HE was in ICU for two weeks and in the hospital for 5 months after that.  I visited him every day after traveling to the city for work in NY. We live in Long Island. (He lived with his MOM. We stayed together thru all this. Even when he came home he was still pretty disabled. We split up three years ago. HE just couldnt handle having a relationship. But we still loved each other and neither of us could move on. We stayed close friends and I was there with him up until the end. I am better than I was in the beginning. But I think about him every day, and still cry an awful lot. THis is the hardest thing I have ever endured and both my parents are gone and my step father.

So, maybe because of everything we went thru it is very hard for me to let go? I think it is somewhat "normal" for this to still be so hard for me and therapy will not do much.

I welcome any thoughts enyone might have.

Thanks and God Bless all of you!!!