Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I read this and thought I would share it for what it is worth...
15 Things I Wish Id Known About Grief
After a year of grief, Ive learned a lot. Ive also made some mistakes along the way. Today, I jotted down 15 things I wish Id known about grief when I started my own process.
by Teryn O'Brien
I pass this onto anyone on the journey.1. You will feel like the world has ended. I promise, it hasnt. Life will go on, slowly. A new normal will come, slowly.
2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day. When you go to sleep crying, you will wake up to a new day.
3. Grief comes in waves. You might be okay one hour, not okay the next. Okay one day, not okay the next day. Okay one month, not okay the next. Learn to go with the flow of what your heart and mind are feeling.
4. Its okay to cry. Do it often. But its okay to laugh, too. Dont feel guilty for feeling positive emotions even when dealing with loss.
5. Take care of yourself, even if you dont feel like it. Eat healthily. Work out. Do the things you love. Remember that you are still living.
6. Dont shut people out. Dont cut yourself off from relationships. You will hurt yourself and others.
7. No one will respond perfectly to your grief. Peopleeven people you lovewill let you down. Friends you thought would be there wont be there, and people you hardly know will reach out. Be prepared to give others grace. Be prepared to work through hurt and forgiveness at others reactions.
8. God will be there for you perfectly. He will never, ever let you down. He will let you scream, cry, and question. Throw all your emotions at Him. He is near to the brokenhearted.
9. Take time to truly remember the person you lost. Write about him or her, go back to all your memories with them, truly soak in all the good times you had with that person. It will help.
10. Facing the grief is better than running. Dont hide from the pain. If you do, it will fester and grow and consume you.
11. You will ask Why? more times than you thought possible, but you may never get an answer. What helps is asking, How? How can I live life more fully to honor my loved one? How can I love better, how can I embrace others, how can I change and grow because of this?
12. You will try to escape grief by getting busy, busy, busy. You will think that if you dont think about it, itll just go away. This isnt really true. Take time to process and heal.
13. Liquor, sex, drugs, hobbies, work, relationships, etc., will not take the pain away. If you are using anything to try and numb the pain, it will make things worse in the long run. Seek help if youre dealing with the sorrow in unhealthy ways.
14. Its okay to ask for help. Its okay to need people. Its okay, its okay, its okay.
15. Grief can be beautiful and deep and profound. Dont be afraid of it. Walk alongside it. You may be surprised at what grief can teach you.
15 Things I Wish Id Known About Grief
After a year of grief, Ive learned a lot. Ive also made some mistakes along the way. Today, I jotted down 15 things I wish Id known about grief when I started my own process.
by Teryn O'Brien
I pass this onto anyone on the journey.1. You will feel like the world has ended. I promise, it hasnt. Life will go on, slowly. A new normal will come, slowly.
2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day. When you go to sleep crying, you will wake up to a new day.
3. Grief comes in waves. You might be okay one hour, not okay the next. Okay one day, not okay the next day. Okay one month, not okay the next. Learn to go with the flow of what your heart and mind are feeling.
4. Its okay to cry. Do it often. But its okay to laugh, too. Dont feel guilty for feeling positive emotions even when dealing with loss.
5. Take care of yourself, even if you dont feel like it. Eat healthily. Work out. Do the things you love. Remember that you are still living.
6. Dont shut people out. Dont cut yourself off from relationships. You will hurt yourself and others.
7. No one will respond perfectly to your grief. Peopleeven people you lovewill let you down. Friends you thought would be there wont be there, and people you hardly know will reach out. Be prepared to give others grace. Be prepared to work through hurt and forgiveness at others reactions.
8. God will be there for you perfectly. He will never, ever let you down. He will let you scream, cry, and question. Throw all your emotions at Him. He is near to the brokenhearted.
9. Take time to truly remember the person you lost. Write about him or her, go back to all your memories with them, truly soak in all the good times you had with that person. It will help.
10. Facing the grief is better than running. Dont hide from the pain. If you do, it will fester and grow and consume you.
11. You will ask Why? more times than you thought possible, but you may never get an answer. What helps is asking, How? How can I live life more fully to honor my loved one? How can I love better, how can I embrace others, how can I change and grow because of this?
12. You will try to escape grief by getting busy, busy, busy. You will think that if you dont think about it, itll just go away. This isnt really true. Take time to process and heal.
13. Liquor, sex, drugs, hobbies, work, relationships, etc., will not take the pain away. If you are using anything to try and numb the pain, it will make things worse in the long run. Seek help if youre dealing with the sorrow in unhealthy ways.
14. Its okay to ask for help. Its okay to need people. Its okay, its okay, its okay.
15. Grief can be beautiful and deep and profound. Dont be afraid of it. Walk alongside it. You may be surprised at what grief can teach you.
Thank You!
Having just lost my beloved Father last year I completely agree with this List of 15.
Genuine
Real
Intentional
Emotions
Forever
This love thing comes with a huge price tag. I'm so glad I got to experience it. But man do I hate paying the bill.