Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
One year ago, in March, my bird of 27 years passed away. My husband and I had a little ceremony for him. I remember looking at my husband, and a thought passed through my mind--that it's started--my path to loneliness. I remember feeling that the bird was just the beginning. First it would be the bird, and then my dog, and then my husband. Then I would be alone. I felt that it would happen soon.
During the rest of the year, I would wake up, begging God to take my fear away. To let me keep my husband. Then the dog got sick and we almost lost her. She survived, but I felt death creeping closer.
Three months ago, our building gave us a lease to sign. I remember my husband looking at the lease, trying to decide if we should renew for 12 months or 15 months. I remember saying to myself that I didn't see us there. No matter how hard I tried, I didn't picture us living in the apartment a year from now. I even told him that, but he couldn't understand what I meant.
Two months ago, my husband and I went to visit his daughter. Since I don't drive at night, he drove. I remember walking towards her apartment, and just for a moment, I felt like I was walking alone. I actually pictured myself walking towards her building alone. When I got home, I realized that I didn't have my stepdaughter's telephone number. I always relied on my husband to get me the info and I'm very low tech. I told him to give it to me, and started carrying the number in my purse just in case I needed it in an emergency.
One day before the aneurysm burst, I had a dream about walking around inside a building. I couldn't get out. Later, the next day, my husband was admitted into a hospital that looked similar to the one in my dream.
In the entire year, I only mentioned this to my husband in passing: I accidently said that I would hate to do things on my own. To which my husband exclaimed that he would be there. I knew that wouldn't happen.
I'm not psychic. I believe that the Holy Spirit whispers in our ear the things to come.
How many of us had similar experences before our spouces passed?
During the rest of the year, I would wake up, begging God to take my fear away. To let me keep my husband. Then the dog got sick and we almost lost her. She survived, but I felt death creeping closer.
Three months ago, our building gave us a lease to sign. I remember my husband looking at the lease, trying to decide if we should renew for 12 months or 15 months. I remember saying to myself that I didn't see us there. No matter how hard I tried, I didn't picture us living in the apartment a year from now. I even told him that, but he couldn't understand what I meant.
Two months ago, my husband and I went to visit his daughter. Since I don't drive at night, he drove. I remember walking towards her apartment, and just for a moment, I felt like I was walking alone. I actually pictured myself walking towards her building alone. When I got home, I realized that I didn't have my stepdaughter's telephone number. I always relied on my husband to get me the info and I'm very low tech. I told him to give it to me, and started carrying the number in my purse just in case I needed it in an emergency.
One day before the aneurysm burst, I had a dream about walking around inside a building. I couldn't get out. Later, the next day, my husband was admitted into a hospital that looked similar to the one in my dream.
In the entire year, I only mentioned this to my husband in passing: I accidently said that I would hate to do things on my own. To which my husband exclaimed that he would be there. I knew that wouldn't happen.
I'm not psychic. I believe that the Holy Spirit whispers in our ear the things to come.
How many of us had similar experences before our spouces passed?
I knew then that Denny would die. I did not know when, but I knew that my job was to live fully in the moment and enjoy every precious moment we had together.
I was scared too and told Denny about this. I told him that I was worried that something would happen to him. He always said that he wouldn't live past 60. I then said, no honey, you'll live at least another 20 years. I finally let the thought rest because he was 11 years older than me and I said to myself that I was just worried because he was older and knew that men usually go first.
We totally lived in the moment the entire time that we were together and cherished our time together though.
He died of a brain tumor at 58, only 5 and a half months after diagnosis.
I often lay in that same spot in our bed and think, what we had was heaven, but 12 years wasn't long enough. I would rather have 12 years with my husband than a lifetime with anyone else, but 12 years just wasn't long enough!
-Diana