Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I put together a slide show for the one year anniversary of my Lil' Bear passing and a couple of folks asked if I could put it up on youtube. A year ago I couldn't do it but I feel comfortable sharing it now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUV5ZPWfrSQ
I am doing well. I still miss my Diana most ever day but I smile at all the wonderful years we had together and how much growing we did. As I move forward I have a lot of joy in my life now so I would offer up to those in the early stages that things truely can get better. Finally I wanted to share a Dean Koontz quote that helped me tremendously. I took my favorite picture of Diana fishing by a beautiful pool in the mountains, had in blown up to 2x3 feet and superimposed this quote over it, it hangs on the wall in my living room:
Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.
Dean Koontz, Odd Hours
Hugs to all on this journey,
-Pete-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUV5ZPWfrSQ
I am doing well. I still miss my Diana most ever day but I smile at all the wonderful years we had together and how much growing we did. As I move forward I have a lot of joy in my life now so I would offer up to those in the early stages that things truely can get better. Finally I wanted to share a Dean Koontz quote that helped me tremendously. I took my favorite picture of Diana fishing by a beautiful pool in the mountains, had in blown up to 2x3 feet and superimposed this quote over it, it hangs on the wall in my living room:
Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.
Dean Koontz, Odd Hours
Hugs to all on this journey,
-Pete-
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Love and Hugs,
Martha
MJ
Your tribute to your wife brought tears to my eyes and many thoughts in my head. You can see what a wonderful marriage you two had through that video of pictures you put together. Love was surrounding you both.
Loved the quote from Koontz too - I am not a reader of his work, but that quote may change my mind.
Blessing and hugs to you!
Valerie
Darlene
Gentle hugs,
Nancy
A lovely tribute to Diana. I found the Koontz quote almost two years ago......and it SO vividly described what I was feeling....I posted a copy in my office at work, on the frig, and just about everywhere. I even added the end as the tag line on my DS profile!
I love the picture concept and would like to borrow it if you don't mind.
That quote helped me turn my perspective around to rejoice in the gift of a new day and do my best to live each one fully. The emptiness soon was replaced with over whelming gratitude for having my DH in my life for 31 years.
Best wishes and hugs your journey.
Karen
This group has helped me so much over the last two years, it gave me hope of being "normal" again, at least a new normal.
I hope some of my posts help the folks in the early stages of this journey like I was helped previously.
Hugs to all,
-Pete-
This group has helped me so much over the last two years, it gave me hope of being "normal" again, at least a new normal.
I hope some of my posts help the folks in the early stages of this journey like I was helped previously.
Hugs to all,
-Pete-
Beautiful tribute! Cried watching thanks for sharing your wonderful life with your lovely Diana. I just had 2 year anniversary too. Love the Koontz quote it says it all.
Hugs,
Cie
I'd never heard that song (which I love) or read the quote. I will be copying the quote also.
Hugs,
Vicki