I put together a slide show for the one year anniversary of my Lil' Bear passing and a couple of folks asked if I could put it up on youtube. A year ago I couldn't do it but I feel comfortable sharing it now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUV5ZPWfrSQ

I am doing well. I still miss my Diana most ever day but I smile at all the wonderful years we had together and how much growing we did. As I move forward I have a lot of joy in my life now so I would offer up to those in the early stages that things truely can get better. Finally I wanted to share a Dean Koontz quote that helped me tremendously. I took my favorite picture of Diana fishing by a beautiful pool in the mountains, had in blown up to 2x3 feet and superimposed this quote over it, it hangs on the wall in my living room:

Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.
Dean Koontz, Odd Hours

Hugs to all on this journey,

-Pete-