Today I am feeling scared, scared of the unknown. I had a dumpster delivered to the house to empty it out. The biggest issue was the 3 car garage that never held a car in the 15 years we lived here. It was my husbands man cave. I cleaned it out as swiftly as I could, I don't have much attachement to material things. There were years of cards and kids christmas list, my husband I discovered was somewhat of a hoarder. I picked through everything and kept what was important to me and the boys. Ever so often I would come across something like our wedding photos and wonder why it would be out there. When all was said and done all I had was a childrens wagon of memories of my former life. I sat down and cried. Now I am scared, how can I do this all alone. Will I ever find love again, who would want this damaged person. My son pulled me aside yesterday to ask me how i am doing. A few months ago I had terrible pain, I have had every test you can think of and they can't find anything wrong. The pain eventually went away so I am just starting to think it is stress related. I hate to have my children worry about me. Lord, I want to smile again. At least when I was working I had glimspes of my former self but I had to leave my job to prepare for the move so the lonliness is really starting to come back again. I know I will be OK but today is just not a good day for me and at least here I can vent to people who understand. I guess growth doesn't come without pain.