Goodbye is so hard to say. I don't think I said it as he died. I was so focused on easing his passing that I told him I would be ok and that it was alright to go and that family and friends were on the other side to greet him. Later I thought of a million things I wished I had said before and during his death. I don't think we can go through this without some regrets on things we could have said or did. For a while I was very torn up with the things I should have said and done. A friend of mine put things in perspective for me by pointing out that of all the people in the world my husband knew me best and always knew what was in my heart. She said, he loved you very much and you loved him very much and that is all you really need to know and think about.

Today is a hard day for you. I am sorry for you loss and I wish you peace and comfort.

I told my husband goodbye when I left him at the hospital, and told him goodbye when our phone call ended, the night before he died, he was in hospital. Then before they closed the casket, I told him goodbye, and I love you, I will always love you. Mel, you got me crying again.

Sandee

I am one of those that never said "goodbye". I never felt that was the right word to use. It means that I will never see him again; final, the end. I believe I will see Mike again in another place and time. Goodbye was not the right thing to say to him. See you later sums it up for me.

Maggie

I didn't even know when my husband passed away. He was thousands of miles away. I wish I could have been by his side and tell him that the girls and I love him forever. I don't like goodbyes.

It may just be me, but I never felt the need to say goodbye, because goodbyes are something I reserve for people I never want to see again and will jump hurdles to make sure I don't. That also implies that I believe in eternity, which makes it strictly my opinion or belief. Don't let that one word beat you up, it only means something to those that deserve a goodbye, just like I love you, only means something to someone who loves you back.

Thanks everyone. This has been a rough day for me. My heart has been low. I am emotionally exhausted from fighting back tears and then letting them go. I don't know where this came from. I miss him horribly today. I believe in eternity and also told my husband I would see him later. I told him I loved him. That was more important to me. I wish I could understand these things. What spurned this, what I am supposed to learn from it... takes time.
"The guy" I've been talking to lost his wife in June and told me the same thing. Goodbye is not appropriate. It is see you later. ;)

I never got the chance to say goodbye to my boyfriend as we just didn't know it was coming but then you don't expect it, he was only 25. By time I got to the hospital he was gone, nobody got to say goodbye and its so hard. The night before he died I was drifting off to sleep and he rang me as he was put with his friends, I was half asleep and didn't answer. That would have been the last time I could have spoken to him ans I can't forgive myself for not but then I just thought I'd speak to him in the morning. I just hope he knew how much he meant to me ans how much I loved him. I'll never fully say goodbye to him though as he will always be a huge party and I know I'll see him again some day

I felt bad for awhile since my husband was 1000 miles away when he died...I did not get to talk to him that morning to say hi good morning, I just thought he got busy with his Mom in nursing home etc but on the way to the home he had massive heart attack. SO I am not sure if I feel I would have said goodbye unless he was in hospital leaving his life and I knew it.

BUT just not getting that last moment of I love You - take care or whatever I kinda felt cheated

Goodbye/ I don't use either, I also would consider it for thase I never will see again. We used to laugh about Dear John Letter's with friend...He said all my letters are "Dear John" ones.
Mel you are making new steps on this path, I believe the need?feeling has more to do with closure so you can enjoy your new starts.
I write to John in a journal form, all that I am doing to rebuild myself. I know he loved me (still does, in dreams) But if I was ready he woulf step back with warm wishes.
I am a big believer of those letters getting through, just from my past experience.
So set down tell him you news and updates. Thank him for his love...and guidance,. For he will always own a piece of your heart.

Then....syotos.." See you on the other side" Your heart.
You may get a feeling of this weight lifting.

Goodbye is not needed. Cause you never know what he'd talking about with whom up there.
We generally burn these letters, believing the smoke will carry the message...but cyber may even cut the distance.

Hugs Jewells.

I did not say goodbye to my wife, but it was a conscious decision - I hope it was the correct decision.

In fact, for the full year she was undergoing chemotherapy we simply did not discuss the potential/pending outcome. Her sister and I decided to be eternally optimistic and simply not accept death (others call that denial - so be it). My wife and I watched movie after movie from her sickbed; we talked about family and friends . . . but never cancer.

I don't regret not saying goodbye, but I do have lingering, punishing thoughts that maybe I should have discussed the terminal illness; but her sister and I agreed that my wife would have brought it up in the year's time if she wanted to talk about it. Now, I can only hope we were right; I obviously can't go back to handle it differently.

She and I clearly and continually expressed our love for each other during her illness; but never said goodbye.

I don't think you now have to say goodbye to ease your regrets; if you want to, surely you should; but please don't torment yourself over it.

Mel~ Life did not granted me the opportunity to say goodbye to my husband either but to be honest I have not had the need to do so. I feel that it was more important for me to say "I love you and thank you" more than anything in this world. I feel that if I say goodbye, I will never be with him ever again therefore instead I hold on to his memory, love and everything that keeps him alive inside my mind. I will see him once again in the other world and all I could say to him is "I'll see you later on. My mission has not ended but when it does we will be together again".

My faith is stronger than it has never been and my faith will reunite us once again in heaven.. Then I will be able to tell him "I'm here baby, did you missed me? I can't wait for that moment but until then I need to live life to the fullest.

Wish you the best Mel and hope you find the perfect way to tell him goodbye....

Im in the group that never said goodbye and I still dont plan on saying goodbye. Everyday she is very much part of me. I am truly sorry today is a tough day mel. It does come in waves as I have expereinced. Wishing you peace. Gerald

I didn't say goodbye because in my heart and mind, with my beliefs, it is not goodbye.....there isn't anything final about it...I'll be with Bob again.....so I said, "cya later, baby, I love you so much and will forever....never mentioned "until we meet again" or anything like that.....Goodbye was not and is not in my vocabulary. I think if I went to the cemetery, since you said, see you later......I'd just say, "well, here I am, honey...I love our visits." None of my business but it's just how I feel......goodbye has too much finality and I do not believe that Bob and I are through....I don't know when the reunion day will be but there WILL BE a reunion and won't it be grand??
Hugs to you and then another one, too.
Lynda

I'm in the see ya later crowd.

In my daughters case she died in a car accident the day after we talked by phone, and we never saw her again.

With my wife, we wanted her to pass into the next part of her journey, where we will join them eventually. I had plenty of opportunity to say it, but we gave her permission to leave us, that we would be ok - it is what she needed at that moment in time.

So for me I don't see a reason to say goodbye.

I never said goodbye either cause she is always with me even tho she is gone. The last thing we said to each other was I love you. We were going to bed that night I said I loveyou honey and after a moment she told me I love you too. It was the last thing she said, she had some seizers that night and never spoke again. I too believe that see you layer is more like it as I will see her again.

I'm very sorry for your loss and sending Hugs to you. I go to the cemetary also and just talk to her, even tell her I know your not really here but, maybe she can hear me anyway.

Best to you,

Jeff