Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I am a 53 y.o. college educated professional female who lost her husband 5 months ago. We were married for only a year.
Like most of us, there are bad days, good days and okay days. I accepted this loss, and realize that life is going on, and I need to move on, etc.
I am sure that I am sane. So why then I have those occasional crazy ideas popping up in my head? For instance, in the middle of taking a shower I feel an urge to try to EAT some of my husband's ashes (which are stored in a spare bedroom closet). I think: I finish this shower, then go retrieve the ashes and put some in a tea spoon and take it as meds, with some water. Or I'll put some in my cereal with milk and have it for breakfast. This way my husband (or part of him) will be inside me forever.
Or, now I think I want to shave my head bold and tattoo his name on it. Just for myself. This way I'll know my husband (or his name) is on me forever. And I will be wearing a wig to work not to scare my clients off.
I haven't done those crazy things - not yet (bought a wig though). But I'm seriously consider doing them.
What do you think, fellow grievers - am I crazy? or is it normal? did someone of you have a similar problem?
I think people just tend to think of all kinds of ways to keep their loved ones close to them due to this tremendous loss.
Nothing is wrong with you, you are in mourning. “Measure twice, cut once”
is a good mantra to remember throughout life!
Hang in there! You can do this!
Warm hugs to you,
Darcie
I'm sorry but I can't help it. This is not my cup of tea.
Kinda remind me of these comics.
~ Warning: Could be offensive to some faith folks, and the OP.
Sorry to those who are offended. There are symbolisms of the bread and wine, and the traditional Passover meals and re-enactments to historic events. But I play that in my head and still blows my mind.
anything remotely mentioned re: faith in the original post?
A recent and malicious awkward form of bullying if you ask me...
Please respect the person posting and their thoughts and requests even if it’s not your bag... You don’t like it? Then don’t read it! Start another post if you need to have your fun.
Sorry again babochka!
Darcie
Sorry....couldn’t help it either.
Life is hard enough on this journey but to have these kind of feelings in a place that has helped so many, like I said it’s just sad…
As for the faith folks - sorry it was a cartoon to depict the weirdness of the act itself from my view. My poor attempt to describe how weird that act is to me. It's not used to attack the religion or the ceremony itself, which has significant symbolism.
Either way, for the people offended by the comment - I'm sorry.
It's not only a matter of me liking this idea or not. It's about whether it is something she will regret down the road in her professional or social life.