Debbie - of course you should be enjoying life. We "knew" each other back when our loss was new and raw, and we can encourage new widows by letting them know they won't always feel so devastated. Life is never "the same" but it can be good again. We won't ever forget our loved ones - but can remember the good times now more than the bad. It will be 6 yrs. for me Sept. 2. Let's be encouragers here, and not feel guilty this far along in the journey.
Hugs - Doye

You are more than normal, you are a shining star to inspire others to pursue their future in the way best for them. I have traveled along side you in this journey and you were instrumental in my learning to heal myself rather than trying to replace the love I lost for that can not be replaced. Know how much I speak to you when I remember those who were here for me when I was lost at sea. Big hugs, Sharon

Please dont feel guilty. Stories like yours are the fuel that inspires me. God bless. Gerald

Your post is very inspirational. I have found that even after just a short two months I am finding I can do things by myself.. I am no were I need to be but I'm doing it. There is in deed a good productive life out there for all of us. Regardless if I do it alone or with a partner I plan to live a life that has merit, meaning and productivity
Your post made my day.

Kymberly

Your loved one would want you to enjoy life so there should be no guilt at all. It's much too soon for me to think about happiness but in time, God willing I'll find new meaning in my life.

Debbie, thank you so much for your comments. They are so very consoling to me! At a year and a half, I am just feeling my way right now, not sure which path I should be looking at. Another relationship sounds somewhat tempting at times, and then it sounds very daunting and much more work than I feel capable of putting out! Your happiness with your single state helps me to see that that is a good option worth thinking about as well. So, again, thank you!

I am content with my life right now as well. I'm going on four years and most of the things that I worried about actually have happened and I've survived. Most include car repairs, breakdowns, water leaks, part of my house flooded, among other smaller things. I'm living alone and I enjoy it though like you, I would like to have my husband back.

I work full time and I have a job that I enjoy. Traveling is on my agenda to start doing alone soon. I've made a couple of small trips, but I'm hoping to be able to do more.

Running solo is a challenge but can be a very content way to live. I'm alone, but I am not lonely.

Nessie from KY

It has been 11 months for me and I always think about how grateful I am to my husband for letting me be me. For many of our almost 30 years together, I traveled by myself with groups, I went to the senior centers and he stayed at home. We went to church together and we would go out to eat, but basically he was a person who loved being at home. So I don't feel lonely when I go on trips or seeing my friends at the senior centers I go to. The only drawback is I don't have him to share what I did.

It's funny, our paths have been so different, but often we have the same concerns. As you know, I'm not 'solo' having remarried 3.5 years ago (wisowed 6.5 years), but there are times when I have guilt over being happy pop up, too. We've done the best we possibly could to rebuild our lives and find happiness and contentment despite the cards we were dealt - cards neither of us wanted. We didn't crawl in a hole and hide from life, we faced it. What could possibly be wrong with that??

It reminds me of the saying, "Every day is a gift - that's why it's called the Present."

So don't feel guilty. Feel glad we survived it and came this far!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Yes, Debbie. I know what you're saying. Today is six years for me, and while walking on the beach, the thought came to me - that Joe would be proud of me. The tears fell, but they were good, if bittersweet ones. You and I know very well what it took to get us to where we're at. Hugs, Marsha

Thank you for your post Marsha. It reminded me how proud my Tim would be with how much I have accomplished.
I beat myself up all the time for my failures and you reminded me of all that I have accomplished.
It has been just over 10 months and it still hurts like hell, but I look back and see how much I have done mostly on my own.
I am greatfull for everything my Tim taught me which gave me the tools to get this far. Also for his trust in me to allow me to be me.
Hugs, Sandi

I am not at or anywhere near as far as you but you have given me so much encouragement and hope that I seem to really need right now. I know someday I will get there and am so grateful to you for sharing.

You have every right to be proud of yourself and I am sure your husband is too. God bless-Jewley

These moments just "pop up" as someone else said. After getting this far, you have every right to be proud of your accomplishments.

I don't feel guilty ~~ when I am feeling happy ~~ I know Joe would want me to be happy. Mainly, I am content. There are still days when I feel blue, and that has been happening since the week before Father's Day. Things just hit me right in the heart that week, and I've been a little "out of sorts".
BUT, going to see my 16 month old grand daughter makes me happy again. LOL

Being proud of yourself, and enjoying life solo is really a very good thing!! Very normal!!
Hugs, Joely

Well, correction is not fully solo. I do have my silly kit cat and wouldn't trade her for the world.

Baby sitting one of my 5 year old grand-daughters the other evening we had this conversation:
K - Nanny, do you live all alone in your house ?
Me - Yes I do
K - Are you sad ?
Me - No darling, I'm ok
K - Can you do what ever you want ?
Me - Well, yes, I guess so, pretty much
K - Can you eat whatever you want ?
Me - Yes I can
K - Ok, please will you read me a story now !

It made me think later - I'm content now, after six years - I still miss Rod constantly and every day I wish he was still here with me but that can't be, so I'm content in the house we made ours.

Hugs, Angela