Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Realization there is no end

sassiesoftail
sassiesoftail
So another crying fest. Time does not heal. You just try to adjust to your new normal. A normal I never wanted. I was extremely happy with my life as it was.

There are times I feel okay, and then the realization that there is no end. This journey is for the rest of my life, I really try to roll with it as I know I can't change it. But it sucks.

Two of my young Grandsons spent the day with me yesterday. They helped me weed for 4 hours then we washed both motorcycle and my small camping trailer. As we were washing their Papa's bike the youngest one kept saying he didn't know why Papa had to go away. I explained to him first that Papa did not want go away and that he is still here we just can't see him because he is our Angel and he's always here.

It makes my heart ache he can't be here for the Grand-babies.

Hugs, Sandi
laney77
laney77
Yep, it sucks, even on the best days, it still sucks.
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
Ditto. Life is not the same....
Blueeyezd1964
Blueeyezd1964
ya got that right rainbow , my husband was the smartest man
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
Yes, it is hard. My first 2 grandchildren had a chance to know grandpa, they were 5 and 2 at the time. The new baby had never met grandpa who would have loved him as much as the first 2.
Pcon1979
Pcon1979
Everything reminds me of her.
Coop84
Coop84
Your right, this journey is for the rest of our life's!!! Yep, this is really hard. However, I keep telling myself that I was blessed to have Art in my life for 30 years, married for 25!! I keep telling myself that it is better to have loved and lost then to have not loved at all. Art was the best thing that ever happened to me and now I must try to go on without him by my side!!!! They say all good things must come to an end. I just wish it did not have to happen to me!!!! Yep, this sucks!!! Hugs, Sue!!!
gerald222
gerald222
There is a end and when I say that I mean you carry your grief and yet have a sense of peace. It is however a horrible, painful journey to get there. As you said none of us would have picked this new normal. Please cling to hope. That is what kept me going during some very dark times. I totally relate to what you are expressing in your post. I was there at one time. God bless.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
I remember the fear of this is forever and although it's true, we do learn to handle it better. I don't think I'll ever be okay that he died, but I was forced to accept the fact. Otherwise, I surely would have been wasting away from sadness. I fought against that acceptance, not wanting or able to admit it. But "time" did intervene, not curing my loss, but giving me a chance to live with what I had as a sweet memory that I now be thankful for.

We need time to come to terms with this. We need to cry, get angry, and let the emotions flow teaching us how to survive. For, I believe, that is how we learn to treasure so many things that we believed would be with us longer. Sharon
npc4204
npc4204
Sandi,
I spent yesterday with my grandson, he's 19 months old. It breaks my heart that he's too young to remember his "pappy"
My husband absolutely adored this baby.
I know how you feel.
Hugs,
Janie
lori001
lori001
I miss my husband every day, especially each morning when I wake up without him. I will always miss him. I am trying my best to move forward and live. I am not moving on.....I am moving forward.
I know my husband would want me to be happy, so I am trying to do that. The loneliness of not having him here to share my life with is the hardest part of this journey. Again, I know I will always miss him!
Blessings to you all!
Lori
JesusisOurSaviour
JesusisOurSaviour
Sandi,
I struggle with that too.
I have 7 grandchildren, the for 5 of them knew their "SABBY",
(Their name for grandpa) well. They ask a ton of questions about Heaven. They know that's where Sabby 'lives'. It has definitely made them want to know more about Jesus and their Bible.'
Thinking of you and yours,
Peace and love,
Sandra.
onward1
onward1
I agree that there's no end, this is our forever we've been dealt. But the acute grief will fade and we'll be left with the memories of our previous life. That said, we must navigate this grief journey and emerge a new person to live fully again. We are all worthy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We are all in the same place. Some are farther in their journey than others. I understand my granddaughter who is 4 makes comments like when Papaw comes back. Breaks my heart. I don't want any of the four to forget him. I just keep telling myself and keeping the faith that God has a plan. Your not alone.
goldenearrings
goldenearrings
right..............it still sucks..................but today for some reason is one of the brutal ones.....................not as frequent, but they do come..........so I returned to the site for some comfort..........while there is no end....here on earth...I do look forward to being with him again..............Lori
npc4204
npc4204
Lori, I'm so sorry you're having a bad day.

I heard someone say, "my husband's in heaven, but I'm walking through hell" .... I feel that way, too.

Some days are so much worse than others.

Hugs,
Janie