Thank you Judy :) Your words really hit home..ive been trying to pray more lately too and sometimes i can still my brain..

Hi Shelda. I have only 2 constants in my life. My job and my home. I was married for 30 years. Had a non-relationship with my step-daughter from the time we met when she was 14. The only reason I ever saw her was because that is what made my wife happy. So many tears Juani shed over her daughter. Around Christmas last year, our youngest grandchild (age 4 of 3 gk), came up to me on 3 separate occassions and with the most confused look on his face, asked if I was his grandpa? I assured him I was, but after the 3rd time, I talked with my daughter-in-law. She said that she thought the step-daughter might have said something, but I do believe it was her. Short of my wife dying, I've never been hurt so badly my entire life. Leading up to that, I could tell that it had become a "pay-to-play" situation and but for my helping to support that family and spending all my extra money on the grandkids, I had wore out my welcome. So they live an hour away. I've not seen any of the grandkids since then -- mostly my choosing. I could not endure that heartache again. I helped raise my wife's son since he was age 11 (Juani was 10 years older than I). Sad to say, I became discarded. So, I've got absolutely no one except for my friends at work and here. Things do change. Our address book changes, that's for sure. I will say this, though. I have no regrets. I quickly became unable to solve my own problems, let alone everyone else's problems. Working on myself had to be job 1, and that is still ongoing for me. Better now, but still a work-in-progress. I would just urge you to make decisions based solely on what is best for you, no one else. We are not yet strong. And if we think we can operate in all the family dynamics as before, well, I anyway had a rude awakening. Take care my friend. Glad to hear you are praying because He can fix what we don't even know is broken. ~~~ Scottie

If you leave then the grandkids will have lost you both. I don't think that is a great idea. I think those kids might really need you, especially if their mother is abandoning them. Are you on decent terms with the father? This might be a sign that you need to stay put, not leave. Just my two cents....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Shelva,
Life is a journey and we can't skip to the last page. Although it is difficult, try to forget the bad and focus on the good memories. We set the example for our children to learn how to deal with loss. In my case I lost my mother 5 months before my wife and believe me, it's easier to with your children than 3 sisters. Say positive and dismiss the negatives. Good luck.

It's your decision first, but I wanted to share your right in giving it time and thought. We can't run away from our grief. It follows us and trips us on the way. We can't go back to the happier times and going "home " isn't the way we remember. We've changed over the years and we and home has too. It's about grieving the loss and rebuilding what we have. The question is where we begin personally rather than physically. Take your time. Perhaps talk to those back home to rekindle friendships and see how you feel. Wishing you the best. Sharon

So many Hugs and Love to you All xoxox Thank you my friends I wouldn't be healing this way without all of your support.Forever Grateful.