Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Happy New Year to all. I have been at my girls house for a few days and brought the new year in with them and their very young, partying friends. I longed for Joe to take me home and let me sleep quietly with him like we always did after midnight.
A very strange thing happned there. A young man came up to me, a friend of my daughters. He said that he was able to act as a medium and he said that a man was nudging him all night to talk to me. (granted this kid was drunk so I was ignorng him at first). He kept asking me if I knew a man in a chair? No clue, was thinking my dad or Joe.
He said that his man had a very foul mouth (language)..that would have been joe. I had not idea why this kid was playing with my emotions.
He said that this man wanted to hug me and say he loved me. He went on to tell me that this man said I have been asking over and over for a sign that he is with me and he was nudging him with his "big belly" to come to me and let me know.
I was really scared but then he said that I needed to be open to it and that the man kept telling this man to touch my face like he always did to prove that it was him comign to me. Joe always ran his finger down the side of my face to say how soft it was and how beautiful I was. I started to cry as much as I wanted to believe him, but didnt knwo what to think.
My daughter got mad at her friend and walked out of her own apartment. Everyone was coming in one at a time telling this kid to stop but he kept telling them to step out and I was fine. Then I said I need to go to my daughter because she was upset over this. He said that Joe was stepping away because I wanted a sign from him and I didnt want to listen to him and was goign to my kids instead...This is something Joe would have said. He would have been nuts that I wasnt listening to him! I stayed to hear the rest.
He told me that he knew I was angry at him for not getting his paperwork in order (the will) and that I should not worry about his boys not talking to me. He said that his boys did nto really love him anyway, they always listend to his ex wife instead (true) and that he over gave them things and spoiled them to compensate for the divorce (very true).
Then he said not to listen to the b-tch (his ex) or worry about her and to get the money that his owed to me from them. He said he was helping to heal me from where he was since the doctors say they cannot. This kid touched my lower stomach and said that Joe said I needed to go and get checked and he would heal what is wrong?
He said that Joe said he fell in love with me when I was in the "grass" and he looked at me there? We were always upstate and got married in the grass under a tree.
After all of this and him saying that Joe said he will always love me and he is fine where he is now, the kid spoke to me about my future.
He said that I have a huge heart (true) and that I will fall in love again with another man who is separated and getting divorced (no way!) and then he tore me apart when he said that Joe never really loved me and I "knew' that in my heart. I have always questioned Joes love in the years before we were married. He was always looking for other women to talk to and we had many arguments over it.
I have been so sick over all of this and could not sleep for days. Was Joe really sending me these messages? They were right on spot and it scared me. But worst of all, is it true that Joe never really loved me?
What was this new years eve thing that happened just ten minutes before midnight? I am feeling so horrible now...Ann
A very strange thing happned there. A young man came up to me, a friend of my daughters. He said that he was able to act as a medium and he said that a man was nudging him all night to talk to me. (granted this kid was drunk so I was ignorng him at first). He kept asking me if I knew a man in a chair? No clue, was thinking my dad or Joe.
He said that his man had a very foul mouth (language)..that would have been joe. I had not idea why this kid was playing with my emotions.
He said that this man wanted to hug me and say he loved me. He went on to tell me that this man said I have been asking over and over for a sign that he is with me and he was nudging him with his "big belly" to come to me and let me know.
I was really scared but then he said that I needed to be open to it and that the man kept telling this man to touch my face like he always did to prove that it was him comign to me. Joe always ran his finger down the side of my face to say how soft it was and how beautiful I was. I started to cry as much as I wanted to believe him, but didnt knwo what to think.
My daughter got mad at her friend and walked out of her own apartment. Everyone was coming in one at a time telling this kid to stop but he kept telling them to step out and I was fine. Then I said I need to go to my daughter because she was upset over this. He said that Joe was stepping away because I wanted a sign from him and I didnt want to listen to him and was goign to my kids instead...This is something Joe would have said. He would have been nuts that I wasnt listening to him! I stayed to hear the rest.
He told me that he knew I was angry at him for not getting his paperwork in order (the will) and that I should not worry about his boys not talking to me. He said that his boys did nto really love him anyway, they always listend to his ex wife instead (true) and that he over gave them things and spoiled them to compensate for the divorce (very true).
Then he said not to listen to the b-tch (his ex) or worry about her and to get the money that his owed to me from them. He said he was helping to heal me from where he was since the doctors say they cannot. This kid touched my lower stomach and said that Joe said I needed to go and get checked and he would heal what is wrong?
He said that Joe said he fell in love with me when I was in the "grass" and he looked at me there? We were always upstate and got married in the grass under a tree.
After all of this and him saying that Joe said he will always love me and he is fine where he is now, the kid spoke to me about my future.
He said that I have a huge heart (true) and that I will fall in love again with another man who is separated and getting divorced (no way!) and then he tore me apart when he said that Joe never really loved me and I "knew' that in my heart. I have always questioned Joes love in the years before we were married. He was always looking for other women to talk to and we had many arguments over it.
I have been so sick over all of this and could not sleep for days. Was Joe really sending me these messages? They were right on spot and it scared me. But worst of all, is it true that Joe never really loved me?
What was this new years eve thing that happened just ten minutes before midnight? I am feeling so horrible now...Ann
If the kid was indeed channeling your Joe, the last bit about love/not-loving you sounds like a way to ease your pain. Why would Joe go through all the trouble of finding a medium if he did not love you? A lot of people tend to pick fights to ease separation when a big change is coming up or is happening as a way to feel justified in not continuing the relationship, be it friendship or something else.
If you are worried about your health, go to the doctor just in case. It never hurts to be safe.
Your right on the fact that Joe broke up a few times with me by saying he didnt love me, only for me to find out that He felt he was not good enough for me and used this as an excuse. We wound up so much in love in the end. Thank you for that thought. I cannot imagine he didnt love me.
It was the bottle talking, not your husband. Don't believe a word of it. And just because your daughter didn't tell this kid things doesn't mean they couldn't have mutual friends who knew things that this boy would have heard.
It's meaningless, let it go. And I hope the next time this kid pulls a stunt like that that somebody slaps him across the face!
Love and Hugs, Martha
If it bothers you a whole lot take the time to find a reputable medium and get some clarification/answers .....
BUT I would stay true to what your gut feeling (inituition) tells you, you are the true source of any truths....
i think it's a wonderful gift you were given! I would take it for what it was. You said the young man stroked your face in the same way your sweet husband did right? That's something that is in iteself special no matter how it came about, and you have wanted a sign from him, and sounds like you got just that!
I'm HAPPY for you that you can have some peace knowing that he is indeed THERE, and will be there for you. whatever helps us have peace is GOOD!
Each and everyone of us has a power within us, and maybe just at the right time and in the right place when you needed it most, your husband made his way through in a surreal way! there is SO much that can never be explained, so why question this also/ Just take it that you were and ARE loved! How cool is that!!!!!
HUGS and happy for you!
diane
He also just went and put his hand on my lower stomach. Joe would do this when we first met and he tell me how my whole stomach would fit in the palm of his hand..Not anymore!! I always asked him if he remembered doing that and he would laugh and say no. The kid also said he keeps laughing but a sarcastc type laugh and that was surely Joe. He would laugh and tease me to get me to continue playing his games. I feel blessed whether or not this is real or my subconscious, I needed this right now. THank you for your support
The bible says there's nothing new under the sun. So, you see how easy it is to guess. And if a so-called psychic is wrong, he or she will quickly cover and move on. They read your body language too. They're good at it. I work with a ton of sales people and they can look at a person and tell if they've got money while they're walking through the door. The see what we normal people don't see. So, you gave him a ton of information without saying a word. Did you know your eyes tell when a psychic is spot-on?
So, did your husband love you? Listen to your own heart and don't let anyone(especially someone like this who is drunk) tell you anything different.
"There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe,and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight."
C.S Lewis
I am not really sure I understand what you mean? I should be brilliant after getting a masters degree last year, but sadly lyme disease has taken itself into my brain so I do not grasp things like i used to.
I was not looking for a medium, it just happened to me that night. I asked joe in my prayers every night for a sign that he is with me and that he is ok.
I have decided to put this behind me and just believe that Joe is with God and happy and he has told me that to leave me in peace.
Ann