I hesitated to respond here or in a private message, but perhaps it might save someone else who is recently in this position. I hope you get what you want.

My husband was an avid motorcyclist and I was an avid passenger. We rode with a group of over 40-45 couples all on touring bikes. When Don died I chose to give his bike to his best friend who we were very close to. Three years later he (friend) died of the same cancer that took my husband and on my husband's birthday. I was devastated when his wife gave Don's bike to her neice, keeping her husband's bike. I felt that it was a big betrayal not to ask me first.

I know legally it was here's to do with as she pleased. I was forced to swallow my feelings and accept her decision as much as I could. Over time it ended our friendship. I can't live in the past and let this destroy me. I had my husband's love, I had our memories on our rides. No one can take that away from me.

I still feel it wasn't right, but there were a lot of things I felt weren't right back then. I hope you have these items returned to you, but ifor you don't you will accept it, because there is no choice. As time passes the material things lose their place in your heart, the memories and love remain. Hugs to you, Rosie. Sharon

On the first anniversary of my husband's death I went to a women's group at a friend's home and enjoyed lunch with them. I had "re-lived" the last month of his life for the previous 30 days and was mentally exhausted. When his marker was placed in the cemetery, and also on the 5th anniversary, my 2 children and grandchildren and I released white balloons with notes to him taped on them. They looked so pretty sailing up to the blue sky. I pretended he could see them and smile. I decided we would do more of an observance on his birthday than the date he left. We went to his favorite restaurant on his birthday that year and knew he would approve. He and I were married almost 51 yrs. and he has been gone 7 yrs. [I am the great-grandma here on DS] The first anniversary date is a huge milestone, and I gradually felt better emotionally after it passed. The first year was very hard - as I know it is for everyone. I wish you peace as you pass this milestone, and hope you soon have more good days than bad.
Hugs to you,
Doye

Yes I am torn with this and how stupid I feel for giving up his things so soon and without thinking...I am going to ask for a few things to be returned as it is consuming me at this time...I have learned so much in this first year and I also hope others reading this will lean from my mistakes...I know in my heart he would not be upset or angry with me it is just myself that is having a hard time...My question I guess is why wouldn't the receiver just tell me to wait until time has passed but I guess if I was gving they were taking...

The receivers probably had no idea what you were going through. That's my guess. Please let us know how it goes. I hope you get the emotionally important items back. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting them or asking for them to be returned.

Well here is the day and I sit here wondering what the year would have been like if he was still here...But he is not....I thought it would be full of tears and sad feelings but for some reason I don't feel that sad today...I feel like he was with me for this entire year guiding me on my journey and maybe that is why I am not feeling sad today because I know he is still with me in my heart...my love for him will never die...I will always think about him everyday and miss him with all my heart...but the truth is that now is the time for me to start making a new life for myself to get out into the world and make this next chapter of my life count...he would want me to do this...so I will do it for him...I will still cry and miss him but now I will start...today I will make him even more proud of me then he ever was...in his memory I will begin to move forward and see what the world holds for me now...

Good on you, Rosie3435. I think we'll always have moments of grief, but we're alive for a reason. I think it honors our loved ones to go on and create renewed lives. They loved us! Would they really want us to be consumed by grief forever? I think not.

Hello fine people, Hello to you Rosie.
When the one year mark of my husband's death came, I asked some family to come over and have lunch with me. I bought fresh flowers, candles and placed all of it on a desk table with a couple tea candles lit, flowers on both sides and my husband's ashes (beautiful Urn) in the center. We each said something about him and some prayers and I made a short letter to him and read it aloud.
Then we had lunch. It was very nice and was good talking about Don and the things he did and loved to do. I stilled cried that day but I felt that I honored him and asked his Spirit to visit me.
It made my heart feel a bit better and some mending beginning to start. I did the same on his birthday too.
I hope you find something to do with others.

I decided at my one year anniversary, I would have to start dating again. I joined three on line dating groups, and met a couple of people on facebook. Bad idea. I got hit with a lot of scammers. And my ex husband from 30 years ago moved in as a room mate. Bad idea. It was the year of disasters. I don't date anymore, and I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I learned that it is not good to say I'll start dating, and try to force myself to do it. I want the freedom to travel. It would be lovely to go on another cruise. I've got so many plans, and that's my goal this year. Seems harmless enough. My best part about people asking how was, was to tell the truth. It sent them running fast enough, and I was left alone with no more dumb questions and advice. At first I got advise from everyone. I just didn't want to hear it. If I didn't hear from people before Bob died, then why would I want to then. I liked my solitary existence. Who wants to see someone crying, blubbering, and occasionally at night freaking out? Now I am where I should be, and I don't mind company. We laugh and have a good time. In time everyone gets to a point where they have an acceptable existence.